Stephen Colbert Mocks 2020 Dems’ Lame Responses to NYTimes Candidate Survey: ‘You’re in America. Just Say Burgers!’

CBS Late Show host Stephen Colbert skewered the 2020 Democratic primary field for giving a series of lame answers in a candidate survey from the New York Times: “Oh, they are doomed.”

Asked about a campaign trail “comfort food,” several Democrats gave groan-inducing responses.

Sen. Cory Booker: “When you’re vegan, that means lots of veggies on the go.”

Rep. Eric Swalwell: “My favorite coffee is mocha.”

Gov. John Hickenlooper: “Mints.”

Andrew Yang: “Kind bars.”

Former HUD Secretary Julián Castro:  “I don’t have a comfort food. I have a comfort drink, which is iced tea.”

“Mints?! Iced tea? Come on!” Colbert said in mock exasperation. “You’re in America! Just say burgers. Or pizza. Or nachos. Or French fries. Or just chugging Alfredo sauce straight from the jar!…Comfort food is what you eat because you ran out of Xanax.”

Later, one candidate after another cited Abraham Lincoln when asked to name a hero they look up to. “Kind of a cop out,” Colbert declared of this choice. “That’s like saying “My favorite band is The Beatles, my favorite weather is sunny, and my favorite thing to do with my lungs is breathe.”

Several other male candidates, he then noted, identified their “wife” as their hero. But not Ohio Rep. Tim Ryan, who answered: “Baker Mayfield, quarterback of the Cleveland Browns.”

Doing a double take, Colbert said: “Did he say Baker Mayfield, the quarterback of the Cleveland browns?! Tim Ryan, the only way it could have been worse is if he had said— I don’t know, the last guy’s wife. She seems good.”

Watch the video above, via CBS.