‘I Honestly Nearly Puked’: Chefs, Senators, and Entire Internet Dunk on Sen. Mark Warner’s Tuna Melt Video Tutorial
Virginia Democratic Senator Mark Warner’s viral tuna melt tutorial also melted the internet, as celebrity chefs, fellow senators, and seemingly everyone else took to social media with an opinion about the mayonnaise-drenched result.
Homemade cooking videos are just one way people are coping with the coronavirus lockdown life, and Sen. Warner made his contribution to the genre this week.
He began by warning Instagram viewers “Unless you are a professional chef, you may want to occasionally pause the video so you can keep up.”
Warner repeats that tongue-in-cheek disclaimer as he went through the difficult paces of squirting every last ounce of mayonnaise in Roanoke onto two slices of bread, throwing some tuna on them straight out of the can, and embellishing his masterpiece with two slices of medium cheddar (mild or extra sharp ruins the whole thing), before chucking the whole works into the microwave for a surely fragrant 30 seconds — long enough for a CDC-recommended handwashing.
The video made the species jump to Twitter, and blue checks — including current and former senators — were merciless. It was tweeted by a staffer for Senator Jeff Merkley, who appeared to get the joke:
? EVERYONE NEEDS TO STOP WHAT THEY ARE DOING AND GO WATCH THE @MARKWARNER TUNA MELT STORY ON IG I AM SCREAMING: https://t.co/gNfnshu38M pic.twitter.com/EzxV5rGlpM
— Emily “Stay?” Rossi (@leadinglatte) April 21, 2020
Former Missouri Sen. Claire McCaskill noticed the subtle hint of mayonnaise, and told Warner “we need to talk.”
Ok @MarkWarner we need to talk. That’s too much mayo dude. Where is Lisa? I love your effort…but…. https://t.co/Fnuvg5bHhQ
— Claire McCaskill (@clairecmc) April 21, 2020
Sen. Kamala Harris also wanted to speak to Warner.
Mark—we need to talk. Call. Please. Your friend KDH.pic.twitter.com/IPGsT6cnjE
— Kamala Harris (@KamalaHarris) April 22, 2020
Journalists and other prominent Twitter users were unvarnished in their degrees of revulsion:
I honestly nearly puked https://t.co/6zlAcFPTlF
— Sam Stein (@samstein) April 22, 2020
U.S. Senator Mark Warner (D-VA) has tapped the strategic mayonnaise reserve. https://t.co/2mDtO6xPWd
— Steve Koczela (@skoczela) April 22, 2020
I am a tuna melt fan, @MarkWarner, but the disgusting amount of mayo on that bread deserves a Content Warnering. https://t.co/131anKiIom
— Eric Geller (@ericgeller) April 22, 2020
I have been making a lot of tuna melt sandwiches during quarantine and I am personally offended and physically revolted by @MarkWarner‘s soggy microwaved mess of a tutorial
— Emily Larsen (@emilyelarsen) April 22, 2020
I don’t know why but watching Mark Warner make a tuna melt has completely broken me https://t.co/QfPVGnaKSq
— Zach Montellaro (@ZachMontellaro) April 22, 2020
SURVIVAL TIP: Never ever accept a sandwich that Senator @MarkWarner offers you. https://t.co/bSTY0HrvtT
— Juan Escalante (@JuanSaaa) April 22, 2020
He may have even earned a new nickname:
… mark warner really needs “two slice man” merch the next time he runs for re-election.
— fake nick ramsey @ ? (@nick_ramsey) April 22, 2020
Warner’s comms director got in on the action, letting us all know it could have been worse:
He also told me a story about an even more disgusting sandwich he once made, which I will spare you all, but safe to say it will be making an appearance in my nightmares in a little while
— rachel cohen (@rcohen) April 22, 2020
Top Chef star Tom Colicchio finally weighed in with a variation on his show’s trademark kiss-off:
I’ll say it, @MarkWarner pack your knives https://t.co/qhR9YOhlsm
— Tom Colicchio (@tomcolicchio) April 22, 2020
Sen. Warner himself handled the criticism in stride.
There’s a reason you guys didn’t let me anywhere near the kitchen when I was on Top Chef! I’m gonna continue leaving the cooking to the professionals, and support my local restaurants in Congress and with lots of carry-out orders. https://t.co/bjk0BWTSfB
— Mark Warner (@MarkWarner) April 22, 2020
The haphazardness of Warner’s recipe was the entire joke of the video — one which was perhaps taken too far with the grisly mayo massacre.
But Senator Warner’s viral moment ensured that a valuable lesson was learned far and wide: wash your hands and try to have some fun while you’re on lockdown.
Watch the video above via Mark Warner.
