It may be tough to keep up with the dizzying array of executive orders that President Donald Trump has signed into action in the first week-and-a-half of his administration. But at least we have Jon Stewart to give us a glimpse into the future of Presidential executive actions.
The legendary Daily Show host returned to late night Tuesday to appear alongside his old pal Stephen Colbert on The Late Show, donning a dead animal hat and elongated tie. “I thought this is how men dress now,” he told Colbert. “The President sets men’s fashion, and I saw the inauguration.”
Stewart’s bit for the night consisted of reading off a number of executive orders that POTUS will soon sign across his desk. For instance, decreed Stewart, “China shall immediately, and without hesitation, send us their wall” (which Mexico will pay for on delivery, by the way). He then whipped out a papal encyclical (“Believe me, he’s getting there,” Stewart quipped) and declared to all Americans: “The new official language of the United States is bullshit.”
The duo also launched into an improvised Johnny Carson bit in the spirit of Carnac the Magnificent, though the jokes mostly fell flat with the Late Show crowd. “That would have killed at the United Nations General Assembly in 1977,” Stewart added.
But then the Daily Show host pivoted and used his third executive order to address people in earnest. He said it will take, “stamina, vigilance, and constitutional checks and balances this great country can muster to keep me — Donald J. Trump — from going full Palpatine. We have ever faced this before: purposeful, vindictive chaos.”
“No one action will be adequate; all actions will be necessary,” Stewart continued in the segment’s third beat. “And if we do not allow Donald J. Trump to exhaust our fight, and somehow come through this presidency calamity-less and somehow constitutionally intact, then I, Donald J. Trump, will have demonstrated the greatness of America. Just not the way I thought I was gonna.”
Watch above via CBS.
[image via screengrab]
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