The Onion Launches Its Peabody Award-Winning Election Coverage With Santorum Video

As we head full on into the 2012 election with the GOP having finally selected their candidate (I’m assuming. Honestly, I stopped paying attention like a month ago), it’s time to start looking at what really matters; what the Onion News Network has to say. The video wing of the second funniest newspaper in the country (you’re still number one, Wall Street Journal!) has launched its election series, “War for the White House.” In 2008, the series won a Peabody for such segments as “Portrayal Of Obama As Snob Hailed As Step Forward For Blacks” and “McCain Left On Campaign Bus Overnight” and, this year, they’re already off to a fine start with a clip entitled “Heartbroken Santorum Condemns Gay Marriage For Two-Timing Jerks Like Nick.”

In the video, anchorwoman Andrea Bennet (played by Kyla Grogan who, like many of The Onion‘s fake journalists, used to be a real one) discusses the redoubling of Rick Santorum’s efforts to stop gay marriage, a passion that may or may not have to do with one guy who “ruined something beautiful.”

You’ve got to love this fake quote they have for Santorum:

“Gay men like Nick Wiseman are endangering the institution of marriage in this country by breaking the hearts of men who have done nothing but love them with their entire souls just so they can run off with some muscle-bound slut.”

God, sometimes I just want Onion news to be real news.

Check out the first video below:

Heartbroken Santorum Condemns Gay Marriage For Two-Timing Jerks Like Nick