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Opinion

The Only Way Republicans Can Turn the Billy Bush Chicken Crap into Chicken Salad

donald-trump-1-e1472584011171One of the flaws in horror films or reality television shows where the villain survives numerous apparent deaths is that, when the anti-hero finally does meet their end, the viewer is at least temporarily confused as to whether it is really permanent. Thanks to Donald Trump surviving numerous episodes which would have been a stake through the heart of any prior modern presidential candidate, many formerly respected analysts (like the fraudulent media-darling Nate Silver) have imbued him with magic powers and have subsequently been afraid to write his political obituary.

However, after today’s very strategic release of the devastating Billy Bush/Access Hollywood “grab them by the pussy” videotape, there is no longer any doubt. Donald Trump is not going to be president of the United States.

There will be those who claim this is not really the case, but they are wrong. This story is too juicy, too easily understood, its timing too good, and its content too devastating even for Trump, who was already in very grave trouble, to survive it in a presidential election where the media is dead-set against him.

This, of course, creates an enormous political problem for the Republican Party, but it also may open a small sliver of opportunity for conservatism itself to ultimately survive this catastrophic fiasco that has been the Trump campaign.

On the obvious downside, Hillary Clinton, as I have been predicting for over a year, is now going to be President of the United States for at least four years, directly because of Trump’s absurd nomination. Among other things, she will get to pick the Supreme Court justices that Trumpsters suddenly found to be so incredibly important only AFTER the nomination of a candidate who could not stop her was secured.

However, this horrific tape, which cannot be defended by anyone other than blatant political whores and complete morons, will not just end any legitimate chance of Trump expanding on a current level of support which is not large enough to win a presidential election. It also is nearly perfectly designed to force the Republican Party to lose control of the Senate and maybe even the House.

This was dropped on the day before House Speaker Paul Ryan was scheduled to campaign with Trump in Wisconsin. It is clear that timing was not coincidental. If that event had occurred, it would have been be used to easily tie every GOP congressional candidate directly to Trump and his comments about women.

Even now that Ryan has smartly bailed on Trump’s appearance, nearly every GOP congressional candidate will have to make a Faustian choice: Condemn Trump strongly and lose at least some “Trumpster” support, or fail to do so and be crucified for a month over their failure to support women. Trump is now the 2016 version of failed GOP Senate candidate Todd Akin, on steroids.

Similar circumstances are sure to now, at least temporarily, overtake every contested Senate race. Kelly Ayotte in New Hampshire (a state where Trump has been fairly popular) will now be in a very tough spot, Pat Toomey in Pennsylvania will have no choice but trash Trump profoundly, and Marco Rubio in Florida, whose race seemed safe, will now be forced to choose which voting group to offend. Others are in races which were tight and now might be lost for good.

All of this is quite likely the price the GOP will pay for having allowed such an obviously unqualified fraud to be their presidential candidate.

There is, however, a way for the Republican Party to transform this chicken crap they just found on their kitchen table into chicken salad. It is a plan which is not complex and that I am convinced it would work, even though I am also quite sure that no one in charge will have the imagination or the balls to implement it.

The first thing that must happen is that Donald Trump must be forced to make a REAL apology (not the disgraceful fake one he made in a written statement today) at the debate on Sunday. I doubt he is physically capable of a sincerely good one, but he must try. He must be told that if he does not, the GOP is going to cut him loose and that he will be humiliated in the presidential election by historic proportions.

Of course Trump’s first reaction to such a proposal would be to reject it out of hand and go on a Twitterstorm against the evil GOP establishment. That’s why there needs to be a carrot along with the stick.

With Trump, the best incentive (other than apparently some good pussy to grab) is, of course, money and it is very clear that Trump is not that rich and that he is going to need cash when this election is over and his brand is toast. The GOP should tell Trump that if the Republican Party maintains control of the House that he would be allowed to reverse the forgiveness (assuming that ever really happened as he claimed) of his personal loan of about $50 million to his campaign. They should then tell him that there will be at least another $10 million payment made to him for each Senate seat, of those still hotly contested, that the Republican candidate wins (I admit not knowing about the legality of such unorthodox pay outs, but considering it is Trump, there has got to be a way to get it done).

This would allow GOP candidates to throw Trump as far under Billy Bush’s former bus as possible without any real fear of a major backlash from The Donald, or his rabid supporters. In fact, Trump being literally invested in the success of GOP candidates would likely force him to help them with his base of nutty backers who would infamously still vote for him (but not necessarily down-ballot Republicans) even if he “shot someone on 5th avenue.”

Then, Republicans who haven’t been completely brainwashed by Fox News, Drudge, Rush, Hannity and Breitbart could vote their consciences knowing for sure that a Clinton presidency was already assured and that they deciding not to vote for an unqualified and disgusting conman would not in any way provoke that outcome. This would then create a Clinton landslide, which, in turn, would destroy Trump forever as a political force, while eliminating major concerns about him creating the same mischief he did in 2020 as he did in 2016.

If all went well with this plan, the GOP could: dodge the bullet of a Trump presidency or near-loss where he never goes away, hang on to the House, have a prayer at keeping the Senate, be able to keep Hillary at least somewhat in check, and also regain at least a semblance of credibility and principle with which they could fight again in four years against a deeply unpopular president who is sure to fail.

I know, it makes way too much sense. Forget it. Let’s just stick with the bastard and lose everything, including what might still be left of our dignity.

UPDATE –– 12:16 am ET: Trump has apologized. Watch the video here.

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John Ziegler is a nationally-syndicated radio talk show host and documentary filmmaker. You can follow him on Twitter at @ZigManFreud or email him at johnz@mediaite.com.

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This is an opinion piece. The views expressed in this article are those of just the author.

This is an opinion piece. The views expressed in this article are those of just the author.

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