Major Trumper Tells CNN Donald Trump is the Best Skank at the Bar at Closing Time


Republican presidential frontrunner Donald Trump is nothing if not interesting, and the same can be said for his prominent supporters. Case in point: auto dealership impresario Ernie Boch, Jr., who made one of the all-time weirdest pitches for a presidential candidate on CNN Thursday morning. In an interview with New Day anchor Chris Cuomo, Boch seemed to launch into the now-familiar 2 am or 3 am phone call test, but then it quickly got weird:

Boch: It’s 2:00 in the morning and there’s a few girls at the bar, you have to go home with one of ’em. So you have to pick who you’re with, and I think Mr. Trump is the best qualified.

Cuomo: Hold on a second. Ernie. Your analogy for what makes you the right guy when you get the bad call at 2:00 in the morning is what to do in the bar when you have two women there and you have to decide which one? This is how your head works?

Boch: No. You’re misunderstanding. If you’re single, you understand this. It’s the end of the night, you want to go home with somebody. The bar’s about to close. You have to pick somebody. You have to pick somebody. you have to stand behind somebody. If you line up all of the candidates with their positives and negatives, I think Mr. Trump is the man.

Call me superficial, but I usually go for a slightly firmer rack.

Boch’s sort of right, though, isn’t he? Picking a presidential candidate is a lot like sizing up a potential one night stand. You want someone with concise agenda who knows how to get things done, but who won’t suddenly demand that you call her “Aunt Shelley” and drip hot candle wax on you when you’re not looking.

The best part is Cuomo’s deadpan takeaway, that “It’s certainly important to be involved in the process.” For Trump supporters, maybe it’s best if they spend more of this process closing down bars, and less time “helping” their candidate out on TV.

This is an opinion piece. The views expressed in this article are those of just the author.

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