Barack Obama Still Smoking: Well, You’d Be Too

The White House released the official report of Barack Obama’s medical exam this morning, giving the president his first clean bill of health since he went into office. So what did we learn from our look inside the body of our leader today?

• He might be a cyborg. Who has 20/20 vision at age 48?

• He has no past surgical history. None. Whatsoever. Again, cyborg.

• His efforts to quit smoking continue with “a self-use” “nicotine replacement therapy.” Our cultural discouragement on smokers might actually hurt Obama’s ratings more than the fact that he may be a terminator from the future with no history of eyesight problems or any surgery.

• He takes medication for jet-lag/time-zone management. Well, no one’s perfect…we all need a Xanax once in awhile.

You can read the report in PDF form here.

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