»» Columnists

Report: Black Eyed Peas’ Fergie Gets ‘Naked’ TSA Scan at Airport

by Tommy Christopher | 10:30 am, December 1st, 2010

» 18 comments

Last week, it was a rape-y threat to democracy as we know it, but this week, the TSA scandal seems almost Norman Rockwell-esque in its fading imprint on our microscopic news cycle. After a two week run as the story, the panic over pat-downs and nekkid scans evaporated faster than you can say “Wikileaks.”

While this was entirely predictable, it was still disconcerting that this news item about Black Eyed Peas sensation (and recent recipient of Glamour‘s Woman of the Year ) Fergie‘s own TSA scan evoked an odd feeling of nostalgia, the kind usually reserved for a Yakov Smirnoff “What a country!” joke.

A week ago, the coupling of a sexy celebrity and a trip through the sizzling-hot TSA “Porno-scanner” would have warranted a pun-laden trip through Fergie’s catalog, but now, it hardly seems worth it to shoe-horn “My Humps” into a TSA gag.

For those of you still interested, though, here’s a bit of the UK Daily Mail’s report:

The singer was spotted putting her bags through the hand-luggage scanner before taking off her many layers of scarves and other accessories so she could step into the scanner.

She was watched by a bodyguard and accompanied by several friends as she boarded the flight bound for JFK airport in New York.

This is the media world we live in now, zooming from one meme to the next, pausing for breath over the latest bit of Sarah Palin minutiae until the next “Balloon Boy” arrives.

Perhaps saddest of all is the plight of the TSA blogger, who enjoyed a moment in the sun, but is now reduced to debunking two-week-old, unsourced Redstate stories.

A story has been making its way onto a number of blogs about the TSA screening of a military charter arriving at Indianapolis International Airport from Afghanistan. The unattributed story claims TSA confiscated multi-tools and nail clippers, while all on board were allowed to carry military issued firearms. The bottom line is the story is not accurate and couldn’t possibly be true.

At Indianapolis International Airport, military charters arrive at the remote transit terminal, exclusive for these types of flights. TSA staff does not have access to this facility and, we do not conduct any screening operations there. Also, nail clippers have never been prohibited by TSA.

Take heart, though, TSA blogger. Christmas is coming, and with it, a chance for this meme to live again, like a pat-down enforcing, naked body-scanning Frosty the Snowman.

Black Eyed Peas, Fergie, Frosty The Snowman, Naked Scanner, Norman Rockwell, Pornoscanner, Sarah Palin, TSA, Yakov Smirnoff

More Liberty

All that he had to do was use an “unnamed source” in the reporting, and like the rest of the media that’s full-of-it, it would have been instantly credible. Having “no source” and using “unnamed sources” are the same in my book. “Journalists” use this all the time. I can just make up a freakin’ story, claim an “unnamed source” told me, and it’s credible.

On a side note, when returning from my deployments overseas, we went through customs before leaving theater. We even went through the metal detectors, and placed out weapons on the conveyor belt which was intern scanned by the x-ray. They weren’t TSA people doing it but ICE inspectors, all part of DHS. So I’m sorry Tommy there can still be some truth to this dudes story.
skyfet

I hope no one make a full of themselves by reporting this as news. oh, what an Irony, am commenting on a post that has already done that. Jokers.
Harry Flashman

A couple of questions:

1. Did I just click onto TMZ or Gawker? No? This is Mediaite? Oh. Sorry. I understand. Mediate is slumming.

2. Do I have any desire to picture – or see – Fergie naked? No. At the risk of being rude, the material is a bit shopworn for cheap thrills.

3. Fergie aside – am I somehow missing some kind of erotic charge that I should be getting by seeing x-ray images of people? X-rays? Egads.

Come on, man.
Harry Flashman

An afterthought…..there must not have been a Sarah Palin story out there for Christopher to feed on today, so we get to talk about naked Fergie x-rays.

Bleah.
Tommy Christopher

More Liberty said:
They weren’t TSA people doing it but ICE inspectors, all part of DHS.

Too bad Redstate didn’t call their story “Another DHS Outrage.”

Theoretically, what you say about unnamed sources is true, but that’s where journalistic reputation comes into play. A reporter who regularly relies on weakly-attributed sources, with no corroborating reporting, will not be taken seriously for long, if at all. However, not all unnamed sources are created equally. For example, it is generally understood that quotes attributed to “a source within (x organization or agency)” are usually background quotes given by an official source.
Tommy Christopher

Harry Flashman said:
An afterthought…..there must not have been a Sarah Palin story out there for Christopher to feed on today, so we get to talk about naked Fergie x-rays.

Bleah.

Did you even read beyond the headline? Your comments seem to miss the point of this post, which makes some of the same observations you have.
Harry Flashman

Tommy Christopher said:

“Did you even read beyond the headline?”

Yes, I did. And my point stands. This isn’t news, its Gawker caliber locker-room tripe. That being said, aside from your penchant for smashing Sarah Palin at every opportunity in the snide, foot stomping way the left has you’re too good a correspondent to reduce yourself to this type of dross.
BatBoy

Tommy has a goal of getting in at least one, if no multiple Sarah Palin digs every day.

Tommy, why don’t you try…just try to write one…just one story without mentioning Sarah Palin.

Personally I don’t think you can do it without going to see your shrink…but that is just me.

“now reduced to debunking two-week-old, unsourced Redstate stories.”
Oh and Tommy, I am not sure I would be too critical of others writing unsourced stories… “SOME SAY” you have a pretty long history unsourced stories yourself….Yes sir, SOME SAY that!
http://www.facebook.com/people/Jon-Martin/43100610 Jon Martin

So.. did they suspect she had explosives?

this is beyond ridiculous..
Just4thefax

Fact: A few of the pat down guys were there at the body scanner in case they found her weapons!
Tommy Christopher

Harry Flashman said:
Tommy Christopher said:

“Did you even read beyond the headline?”

Yes, I did. And my point stands. This isn’t news, its Gawker caliber locker-room tripe. That being said, aside from your penchant for smashing Sarah Palin at every opportunity in the snide, foot stomping way the left has you’re too good a correspondent to reduce yourself to this type of dross.

Well, I made both of those points in the article, the main thrust of which was a commentary on a media culture that elevates meme-friendly optics like this, and voraciously gobbles up every Sarah Palin tidbit in between.

Without going too deeply into it, there is a bit of a chicken-or-egg factor at work here. For all the carping about the popularity of Palin’s North Korea gaffe, which was actually a very minor slip, we didn’t conjure the astronomical traffic for that out of thin air. If people stopped buying news junk food, there wouldn’t be as much. That’s a big problem with profit-driven media.
Tommy Christopher

BatBoy said:
Tommy has a goal of getting in at least one, if no multiple Sarah Palin digs every day.

Where’s the “dig” in this article? What about the multiple times I’ve defended Palin? I get that, as an anonymous blog commenter, you have no duty to be fair, but you could still try.
More Liberty

Tommy Christopher said:
Too bad Redstate didn’t call their story “Another DHS Outrage.”
Theoretically, what you say about unnamed sources is true, but that’s where journalistic reputation comes into play. A reporter who regularly relies on weakly-attributed sources, with no corroborating reporting, will not be taken seriously for long, if at all. However, not all unnamed sources are created equally. For example, it is generally understood that quotes attributed to “a source within (x organization or agency)” are usually background quotes given by an official source.

So then you would say that Hillary, your colleague, is not as reliable. She is using an unnamed source, via Cho, to claim that Palin forced her daughter to go on DWTS. She admits there is no real evidence, but perpetuates the rumor non-the-less. Cho, who doesn’t name her source, obviously has a motive to make crazy claims since she in the past has made questionable remarks about the Palins.
Just4thefax

Fact: Tommy you might want to have a courtesy flush between the shits you post. Cool your jets.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Jim-Treacher/542957672 Jim Treacher

Jon Martin said:
So.. did they suspect she had explosives?

Well, she’s smuggling a couple of torpedoes under that blouse…
Sidhekitten

Am I one of the few who is still bothered by this over each of the TSA. We know they are lying about the resolution of the scans and the fact that are saving the scans. The “feel up” is also absurd, but now it is OK? Somebody please look at the 4th amendment again. The TSA is poster child of what our “kind and loving” Fed wants to do for you protection. Say, here is an idea, why not skip the formalities and jump to public strip searches. Failure to comply will result in a one way trip to a new Re-Education camp. Enjoy your new found security.
Tommy Christopher

More Liberty said:
So then you would say that Hillary, your colleague, is not as reliable.

No. I repeat my response to your equally ridiculous, dishonest charge on Colby’s post:

http://www.mediaite.com/online/is-julian-assange-currently-in-new-york-city-daily-news-seems-to-think-so/#comment-229806

More Liberty said:
So basically Mediaite was reporting on rumors as if they were the truth.

That’s a ridiculous leap. In both of the cases you cite, Mediaite was reporting direct quotes from attributed sources, with language in both headlines (“Claims Margaret Cho,” “Daily News Seems to Think So”) that made clear these were NOT facts, and were not offered as facts. So basically, you’re…just wrong.
More Liberty

Tommy Christopher said:
No. I repeat my response to your equally ridiculous, dishonest charge on Colby’s post:

http://www.mediaite.com/online/is-julian-assange-currently-in-new-york-city-daily-news-seems-to-think-so/#comment-229806

Are there any other rumors you think Mediaite should report on? If you’re looking for more examples of outstanding “reporting” and rock solid sources maybe you should take a look at the following website.

http://www.nationalenquirer.com/

Like I said, you even admit that using no sources, or not naming sources lowers the respect for “journalist” in some occasions. I guess this is not one of those occasions.