Sky Dong? Navy Members Admit to Using Aircraft to Draw Giant Phallus
This has been a weird week, right? Disturbing sexual allegations left and right. A tax bill that nobody truly understands. Roy Moore’s hemorrhoids.
It’s about time we had some truly joyful news, for once. Well, here it is! Some heroic members of the United States Navy took it upon themselves to soar to the skies above Washington, using the contrails from their aircraft to draw a series of glorious dongs.
Officials with the Naval Air Station Whidbey Island have admitted that one of their aircraft was involved in the incident, which saw a series of schlongs appear in the heavens above Okanogan County.
The Navy was alerted to the flesh flutes floating in the firmament after a local mom became upset at the prospect of having to explain the existence of male sex organs to her young children.
https://twitter.com/anahi_torres_/status/931266469869977600?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fdeadspin.com%2Fajax%2Finset%2Fiframe%3Fid%3Dtwitter-931266469869977600%26autosize%3D1
Navy officials responded, saying that the issue was under investigation.
“The Navy holds its aircrew to the highest standards and we find this absolutely unacceptable, of zero training value and we are holding the crew accountable,” they wrote, without naming the crew members who committed the dastardly drawings.
The Federal Aviation Administration has stated they are under no jurisdiction when it comes to this kind of third leg tomfoolery, as they “cannot police morality.”
In the meantime, plenty of Washington residents got a good look at some air boners.
Now, let’s get back to our regularly scheduled programming of horrific sexual assault allegations and shouting matches over tax policy.
[image via screenshot]
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