Stephen Colbert Suggests Some Brutal New Names for Facebook’s Rebrand

Stephen Colbert roasted Facebook for trying to rebrand by changing the company name, giving a few suggestions of his own.

On Tuesday night The Verge reported that Facebook plans to change its name by the end of the month, writing, that the rebrand is “meant to signal the tech giant’s ambition to be known for more than social media and all the ills that entail.”

“But that new name is a closely guarded secret that’s not widely known, even among Facebook senior leadership,” Colbert said on Wednesday’s The Late Show. “Well, that’s surprising. Facebook has leadership?”

The host noted that the company is “still facing accusations of endangering teens, spreading misinformation, and destroying democracy,” cracking that “they’re doing the right thing” by focusing on the company name.

“Just in case they haven’t settled on one yet, we here at The Late Show have come up with a few appropriate names,” Colbert added. “Like Pinsurrectionist, DikTok, Aunt Brenda’s Three-Paragraph Rant-a-torium, Best Fun Times America Website, and the Washington Football Team.”

The host also repurposed some old footage of Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg, dubbing it to imagine his name change announcement:

On #LSSC tonight: Facebook is looking for a new name. pic.twitter.com/myud4MCIuq

— The Late Show (@colbertlateshow) October 21, 2021

“In recent years, we’ve been criticized for spreading disinformation, promoting hate, and causing body image issues among teenagers,” re-dubbed Zuckerberg said. “So we’re finally going to make a change: To our name only!”

“What we’ve learned is when it comes to corporate brand names that inspire trust, Facebook finishes right behind Skynet, the Legion of Doom, and Puppy Punching, INC,” he continued.

Prior to mocking Facebook for the name change, Colbert also roasted the company for taking down an image of the Venus of Willendorf, a 30,000-year-old statue of a fertility figure, as the company ruled the picture as “pornographic.”

“Oh no! Now, where will people be able to find naked pictures on the internet? Now, keen-eyed viewers may have noticed that CBS is actually making us censor her, shall we say, Willendorf,” he joked. “And you might be saying, ‘Seriously? She’s 30,000 years old.’ Yes, so are CBS viewers.”

In response to Facebook’s gaffe, Vienna’s tourism board is now displaying the statue on OnlyFans.

Watch above, via CBS.