WATCH: Every Whack-Job Montage From Last Night’s MasterChef Auditions

MasterChef Season 4 kicked off last night with a two-hour premiere, and, as we look forward to every summer, the kooks came out of the woodwork for the open audition rounds. Of course, those are way more entertaining than the tear-filled, moving stories of overcoming adversity or whatever, so we conveniently compiled all the Crazies Montages in one place for your perusal. You’re welcome.

First, we have the wannabe game meat masters; bear, rabbit, cockroaches (okay, not really game meat, but still), and/or beaver tail anyone? Check out which home cook boasted the winning unconventional protein below.

Then came the bored, S&M-obsessed housewives who binge-read Fifty Shades one too many times last summer, and arrived on set hotter and more bothered than we were comfortable with, aching for Joe Bastianich to tell them what terrible cooks they were. No, seriously. You can check them out below.

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