Olympic Skier Suffers Frozen Penis

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The thrill of victory, the chilling, excruciating, oh so painful agony of defeat.

Emphasis on chilling.

Finnish Skier Remi Lindholm finished in 28th place in the men’s 30km cross-country skiing race, one of the final events of the Beijing Olympics. But the sting of his loss was nothing compared to the brutal injury he suffered along the way.

His penis froze.

“You can guess which body part was a little bit frozen when I finished,” Lindholm said, according to Reuters. He added, “It was one of the worst competitions I’ve been in. It was just about battling through.”

Frozen bodyparts were an apparent concern of Olympic officials ahead of the race, which was delayed by more than an hour and shorted from its originally scheduled 50 km distance due to frigid conditions. But the race wasn’t short enough to save Lindholm. The skier said he applied a heat pack to the affected area in an effort to thaw it out, to no avail.

“When the body parts started to warm up after the finish, the pain was unbearable,” Lindholm said.

Worse yet, this has actually happened to Lindholm before. The skier suffered a frozen penis during a race in Finland last year.

It certainly wouldn’t be surprising to see Lindholm compete in shorter races going forward on account of his frequently frozen member — or perhaps even a different sport altogether. Surely this doesn’t happen in curling.