Colbert: We ‘Surrendered Our Privacy’ To NSA For This?

Stephen Colbert opened his show Monday night with a look at the heightened global terror alert that closed U.S. embassies all over the world this past weekend. The host commended the NSA for producing such a broad and vague warning. All they had to do was “turn the Constitution into choose your own adventure.”

“I hope you’re wearing a clean diaper,” Colbert told his audience, “because the United States government, in cooperation with cable news, has once again taken us to code brown.” He proceeded to show a cable news montage that included CNN anchor Wolf Blitzer’s warning that al Qaeda could attack “anywhere in the world, at any time, at any moment.”

“This warning is exactly why we invested hundreds of billions of dollars in our intelligence gathering, surrendered our privacy and let the NSA turn the Constitution into a choose your own adventure,” Colbert declared. “So we can get concrete, actionable intelligence like this.” He thanked the NSA for letting Americans know we just need to avoid the entire surface of the earth.

Colbert pined for simpler times when he could just look at President George W. Bush’s color-coded terror chart “and know that my sphincter tightness was orange. But even that’s gone now because Obama gave all those colors to the gays for their rainbow.”

Watch video below, via Comedy Central:

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