‘I’m So Honored to Be Your Vale-Dictator:’ SNL Ends Season 45 With A Trump Graduation Speech

Saturday Night Live always delivers for their season finale, and despite being shot remotely — this one was no different. The series aired the finale, and their third SNL at Home episode, with Alec Baldwin’s legendary Donald Trump as the keynote speaker for a high school Zoom graduation.

“I’m so honored to be your vale-dictator,” Baldwin said. “But today’s not about me, it’s about you. Although I should spend a little time on me first because I’ve been treated very poorly — even worse than they treated Lincoln.”

Baldwin then proceeded to mute all the students who talked back or disagreed with him, including the school principal, played by Kate McKinnon. 

“You’re actually lucky to be graduating right now,” he continued. “There are so many exciting new jobs out there, like grocery store bouncer, camgirl, porch pirate, amateur nurse, and coal. Don’t forget about coal. It’s in the ground, and you just dig down and grab it.”

He then promised that all colleges would be open again in the fall because online college is a “scam,” referencing Trump’s own failed online school: Trump University.

“We want Fauci,” yelled one student, prompting Baldwin to rip “elite medical experts” before downing some Clorox. “Good old invincibility juice! Cheers to you guys,” he said after taking a swig.

“Believe in yourselves and you can achieve anything. Look at me, I started as the son of a simple wealthy slumlord, and grew to become a billionaire, a president, and the world’s leading expert on infectious diseases,” he added.

“Surround yourself with the worst people you can find, that way you’ll always shine. If you don’t understand something, just call it stupid. Never wear sunscreen, and live every day like it’s your last because we’re going to let this virus run wild. This virus that, remember, was started in a lab in Obama.”

After the cold open, Kristen Wiig took over as the finale’s guest host to thank Moms on the eve of Mother’s Day.

SNL ended its bizarre season with a total of only 18 episodes – 3 shy of a typical season – as the coronavirus pandemic made shooting the variety series nearly impossible to pull off.

Watch above, via NBC.