Jon Stewart Obliterates GOP’s Big Beautiful Bill Flip-Flop and Dems’ ‘Fecklessness’: ‘Washington Bullsh*ttery!’

The Daily Show host Jon Stewart torched Republican flip-flopping and Democratic “fecklessness” while skewering President Donald Trump’s Big Beautiful Bill as nothing more than a cynical giveaway to the wealthy in Monday’s scathing monologue.

The comedian opened by profiling the bill that he said brought trillions in cuts to healthcare, food assistance, and education, while simultaneously ballooning the deficit by $3.4 trillion.

“Holy shit!” he snapped. “You somehow managed to severely cut the safety net and expand the deficit. That’s impressive.”

He continued: “That’s one of those, ‘Hey man, how did you gain all that weight?’ ‘Ozempic.’ That’s something that’s hard to do. ‘I’m on Ozempic, and now I’m really fucking fat!’ So even though some of our nation’s most vulnerable are taking a pay cut, fear not, other people are getting a raise.”

At the heart of Stewart’s outrage was the staggering $150 billion boost to ICE, which he called absurd.

“Are you telling me all this crazy shit that has been happening is broke ICE? What is ICE going to do when they have real money?” he joked.

But his monologue saved some of its sharpest teeth for Congress.

He began by saying that the “bill encapsulates a ton of general Washington bullshittery” before rounding on the politics. Republicans, he said, rammed the 970-page bill through with little time to read it, with the host all too keen to point out the years GOP lawmakers spent complaining when Democrats did the same.

“When it happens to them it’s shoving it down their throats,” Stewart sneered. “When it’s for Republicans, it’s just, ‘Come on, America. Relax the glottis. Breathe through your nose.'”

Democrats didn’t escape the roast. Stewart called out their “fecklessness,” highlighting Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer bragging about striking the bill’s title and House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries posing on Instagram with a baseball bat.

“Tell me you didn’t just brag about changing nothing about the bill but its name,” the host groaned. “Are you trying to suck? Is that what this is? That’s your move. We worked hard and took out the dumb name of the bill and named the bill after a prestige drama on Hulu.”

Republicans were next as Stewart aimed directly at Republican senators who postured as fiscal hawks before caving to Trump’s demands.

“Did you act like a [working-class] Josh? Did you?” he sneered after Sen. Josh Hawley (R-AR) condemned Medicaid cuts, then voted yes anyway.

Senator Ron Johnson’s (R-WI) hand-wringing about “stealing from our grandchildren” got equal mockery: “You’ll never guess who accepted it,” Stewart deadpanned.

Even Rep. Tim Burchett (R-TN) got dragged for swooning over Trump’s charm.

“He signed a bunch of stuff for you. Was that your class’s first trip to Washington? He gave us M&Ms. I’ll vote whatever he wants me to vote for. He signed my tits!” Stewart jeered.

Stewart’s throughline was that all the protesting was performative outrage, followed by performative surrender.

“The only difference between that vote and wrestling,” Stewart said, “is that wrestling is fun and takes actual courage.”

The bill, Stewart said, epitomizes the warped economic logic in Washington: protect the ceiling for the ultra-wealthy, even if the floor collapses beneath working Americans.

“This bill is the most fucked-up performance review our country could ever deliver,” he said. “It’s the government sitting us all down and telling us where we’ve been irresponsible with the spending.”

In Stewart’s view, blaming the poor is a political smokescreen.

“Blaming migrants and the able-bodied poor is why Trump won this election,” he warned. “For all the people who are worried about [Zohran] Mamdani’s socialist tendencies, guess what? He’s the best-case scenario, because this system is not sustainable. And if this doesn’t change, there’s gonna be more drastic action.”

Watch above via Comedy Central.