Late Night Hosts Tackle Trump and the Russian Bounties, the ‘Demon Sperm Lady,’ and the Tech CEOs

Late-night hosts Trevor Noah, Seth Meyers, and Jimmy Fallon tackled a variety of news stories during their Wednesday night shows — all focusing on different revelations from this week’s news.

Noah spent his time on President Donald Trump’s interview with Axios’ Jonathon Swan, during which he confessed that he did not ask Russian President Vladimir Putin about the bounties placed on American troops in Afghanistan during a recent conversation.

“And what I found striking in the interview was that he was incurious about this. He dismissed it on its face. He wrote it off as fake news,” Swan later said on MSNBC of his interaction with Trump regarding the bounties. “And it did not comport with his world view in the way that he thinks about Putin and Russia. So, therefore, it was immediately off the table.”

First Noah congratulated those nominated for Emmys this year — noting that Black performers received a record-high 34 percent of the nominations.

“Which is huge, and well deserved — but it’s still not enough!” Noah joked. “That’s right, I won’t be satisfied until Black people get 100 percent of the nominations!”

The host later addressed the Russian bounties, pointing out that not only did Trump not ask Putin about it, but he also claims that the intelligence briefing on the subject never reached his desk.

“First of all, I actually believe Trump when he says that this intelligence briefing never reached his desk,” said Noah. “Because I mean, his desk is so full of Goya beans, where were they going to put the files?”

The host addressed Trump’s opposing strategies when it comes to those protesting police brutality versus Russia — pointing out his obvious desire to destroy one group over the other.

“‘We’ve got to send in the troops. Break it up people, we’ve got to destroy them!’” Noah said of Trump’s reaction to protesters. “But when Russia is putting bounties on American troops, he’s like, ‘They’re only lashing out because we hurt them. Like Dr. Jen says: Hurt people hurt people.’”

“I mean, I guess I can understand where Trump is coming from. It is super awkward bringing up to your buddy how he put a bounty on your soldiers’ heads, you know?” Noah added, rationalizing Trump’s behavior. “You’re talking sports, you’re talking chicks — you don’t want to ruin the vibe with how he’s spearheading a campaign to compensate enemy combatants for killing your troops. Zero chill, man, zero chill!”

Aside from his main story on coronavirus conspiracies, Meyers also took a swipe at Trump’s decision to ignore the Russian bounties placed on American troops — similarly joking that there was no room on his desk for the intelligence briefing due to his pile of Goya beans.

“Sir, we’d have something we’d like to get on your desk immediately. There’s a bit of a — bit of a bean jam right now,” he said mimicking a Trump aide. “Little backup on the bean products, so maybe next week stop back and I’ll see if I can work through the beans.”

Meyers then took “A Closer Look” at the inaccurate information circulating amid the coronavirus pandemic — much of which is spread by the president himself.

“As the coronavirus pandemic has spread out of control, so has misinformation about it,” Meyers said, referring to a video of Dr. Stella Immanuel that both Trump and Donald Trump Jr. shared on Twitter.

In the video, Immanuel claimed that hydroxychloroquine is a cure for the coronavirus, but that this information is being kept from the public, and that masks do not actually work to prevent the spread. The doctor is also known for her belief that certain ailments are caused by demon sperm, as reported by The Daily Beast. 

Noah roasted the Trumps’ fascination with Immanuel during his show on Tuesday night, and played a clip of her saying, “Sex is a spiritual transaction, so when you’re doing it by yourself, demons come and join you.”

“Everyone wishes there was a cure for coronavirus. No one wants to be trapped inside for this long,” Meyers pointed out. “If hydroxychloroquine really worked I’d take an Uber Pool to Times Square to get coughed on by a tourist just for old time’s sake.”

“Seriously, who on Earth could possibly trust a doctor like this?” Meyers said, playing a clip of Immanuel.  “Cool, so Trump won’t listen to the renowned infectious disease expert who actually works for him, but he loves the demon sperm lady.”

Fallon began his monologue by addressing Wednesday’s House tech hearing, during which four top tech CEOs — Facebook’s Mark Zuckerburg, Amazon’s Jeff Bezos, Apple’s Tim Cook, and Google’s Sundar Pichai — testified before Congress to defend their roles in the marketplace.

Fallon noted that the hearing was particularly dull and compared it to watching paint dry — joking that the group of men are “basically like the Super Bowl of guys who are picked last in sports.”

“It was not an easy day for lawmakers,” added the host. “They were like, ‘I’d grill you, but I need Amazon to survive, Google knows my search history, Apple’s got my texts, and Facebook’s got my drunk pics. So we’re good.’”

Fallon pointed out that it was Zuckerburg’s fourth time testifying before Congress, and joked that he could say he testified 900 times and it wouldn’t matter since the CEO would never fact check it.

“Seeing the four of them together is like The Beatles of selling your personal information,” Fallon joked after putting a picture of the CEOs from Wednesday’s hearing on the screen. “I don’t like to pass judgment, but these guys made the cast of ‘The Big Bang Theory’ look like the Avengers.”

Watch above, via Youtube.