Stephen Colbert Outraged Over Obama ‘Forcing Priests To Hand Out Condoms At Mass’

 

Stephen Colbert was enraged at President Obama‘s, “vengeful crusade against the Catholic Church,” on Tuesday night, “forcing priests to handout condoms at mass.”

“I am outraged as a Catholic!” Colbert exclaimed. “No, no, I am outraged as the Catholic. I am sorry, Pope Benedict, but you lost my respect in 2010 when you came out in favor of universal health care. I say if Jesus wanted everyone to have insurance he’d have been crucified on a Blue Cross/Blue Shield!”

“I tell you, folks,” Colbert continued. “There is nothing we American Catholics enjoy more than defending the church’s stance on contraception. It’s a central tenet of our faith. As deeply held in our belief in marble, Jesus on snack food, and unintentionally hot school uniforms.”

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Colbert went on to describe Obama’s attack on his faith; turning to a demonstration using a banana, a condom… and a guillotine.

Watch Colbert lambaste President Obama below via Comedy Central:

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