Meet Stormy Daniels ‘Co-Stars’ Who Aren’t Named Trump (Although One Played Him in a Porno)

 

So let’s say that Stormy Daniels is telling the truth about her raunchy encounter with President Donald Trump. That means that in doing the deed with Daniels, our Commander-in-Chief is in the company of some pretty storied adult film stars — given Stormy’s nearly two-decade strong career in the industry.

For really no reason whatsoever other than some giggles and merriment, let’s take a look at some of the actors Trump would be brothers in arms with if he really did schtup Stormy.

(Disclaimer: we’ve tried to keep things nice and clean but if you don’t want your boss questioning some of the links you’ve followed, click at your own risk on this one.)

1. Tommy Gunn

Pictured here in Spartacus MMXII: The Beginning – described by IMDB only as “an XXX parody of Spartacus: War of the Damned” – Gunn got into his work bodybuilding and stripping. He’s starred in a number of adult flicks with Stormy, including 2005’s seminal Secrets of the Velvet Ring. Now he’s only (allegedly) two degrees of separation from the president. Ah, what a country.

2. Marcus London

This British megastar of the adult film industry has acted alongside Stormy countless times — and has even starred in a number of films directed by Daniels, from Girlfriend For Hire to Inside Job. Above, he can be seen in Top Guns, a parody of… well, I don’t even need to say it. Like Stormy, he’s a director as well as an actor. A man of many talents.

3. Brad Armstrong

They say that Armstrong took a young Tommy Gunn under his wing and showed him the ropes of the porno industry. This teacher also played a preacher, as seen here in The Preacher’s Daughter, which goes one of a few ways I can currently imagine, none of which I plan to find out is the truth. But you can, on your own time, in the comfort of your home, knowing that this man (maybe) slept with the same woman as Donald Trump. Comforting thoughts are comforting.

4. Eric Masterson

The woman of the hour features prominently with Masterson in Taken, based on the Liam Neeson thriller of the same name. Let it haunt your dreams at night thinking that (perhaps) Trump looked at Daniels in the same longing way as he was about to (perhaps) undo her brassiere.

5. Evan Stone

Stranger than fiction, Evan Stone actually played Donald Trump in a porno during the 2016 election — and has also gotten down and dirty with Daniels. We can’t make this stuff up. Wonder if Michael Cohen will point to this as defamation and demand another cool million from someone. Or (speculatively with no evidence to suggest this is actually truthful) send a thug out to threaten a mother in the car with her baby. (SPECULATIVELY.)

Maybe the mysterious DVD that Stormy’s lawyer Michael Avenatti keeps teasing us with is definitely-maybe-definitely a video of her and the now-president knocking boots. For now, content yourself with these classics and substitute in The Donald’s face for the most scandalous, magazine-spankiest, only-marginally-consensual-est potential intercourse there ever was.

[image via screengrab]

New: The Mediaite One-Sheet "Newsletter of Newsletters"
Your daily summary and analysis of what the many, many media newsletters are saying and reporting. Subscribe now!

Tags: