Wait, Did a ‘Gang of Monkeys’ Really Mug a Lab Tech and Steal Coronavirus Blood Samples?

SANJAY KANOJIA/AFP via Getty Images

According to several news reports, either a “troop” or a “group” of monkeys — or a “gang” of them — set upon a lab technician and made off with samples of coronavirus-infected blood this week.

Sky news reported the theft, by a “gang of monkeys,” of several vials of blood from patients being treated for Covid-19 this week:

A gang of monkeys attacked a laboratory assistant and escaped with a batch of coronavirus blood test samples, it has been reported.

The bizarre incident saw the troop of primates launch their assault near Meerut Medical College in Delhi, India.

According to local media, the animals then snatched COVID-19 blood test samples that had been taken from three patients and fled.

Indian news outlet NDTV posted video of one culprit chowing down on his infectious booty.

A spokesman told Reuters what we all wanted to hear: the monkeys will probably be all right:

“Monkeys grabbed and fled with the blood samples of four COVID-19 patients who are undergoing treatment … we had to take their blood samples again,” said Dr S. K. Garg, a top official at the college.

Authorities said they were not clear if the monkeys had spilled the blood samples, but people living near the leafy campus feared further spread of the virus if the monkeys carried the samples into residential areas.

Garg said it was not clear if the monkeys could contract the coronavirus if they came into contact with infected blood.

“No evidence has been found that monkeys can contract the infection,” Garg told Reuters.

The lab tech involved appears to have missed the golden opportunity to snarl at his assailants, “Take your filthy hands off me, you damn dirty ape!”

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