Esquire’s Advice on How to Dress Your Way Out of the ‘Friend Zone’ Not Going over Too Well

The latest how-to-be-a-walking-penis guide from Penis Monthly was so bad the first person in my feed to tweet it out already saw what was coming:

Uh oh. http://t.co/wH6kKljXoS pic.twitter.com/PPmVaqs013

— Matt Pearce (@mattdpearce) October 30, 2014

Have at it, everybody:

1. Set this article on fire http://t.co/HID4WqYFRQ 2. Never say "friendzone" again 3. Stop expecting rewards for bare minimum human tasks.

— Stealthy Wratherton (@AthertonKD) October 30, 2014

the easiest way to avoid the friendzone is to acknowledge that the friendzone's a product of male entitlement culture http://t.co/Di2BQoAZpa

— Jessica Roy (@JessicaKRoy) October 30, 2014

Follow-up idea for Esquire: "How to dress like you appreciate people are even friends with you, you entitled prig"

— Fires of Hades Brown (@HayesBrown) October 30, 2014

The joke is that no woman considers a guy who uses the term "friendzone" a friend http://t.co/MrqALw8I5f

— Scott Bixby (@scottbix) October 30, 2014

But plz no pleats. RT @HayesBrown: Yes, Esquire, feed into notion that women are shallow and only like dudes because of money and clothes.

— Lauren Jenkins (@laurenist) October 30, 2014

Oh, duh, the problem all along has been the lack of lapel flower http://t.co/Wpk076VhVW

— Jim Newell (@jim_newell) October 30, 2014

also, according to that Esquire article, it costs $5,718 to get out of the friendzone…

— Neil (@Burghpunk) October 30, 2014

And my favorite:

I am going to provide my own guide to "how to get out of the friend zone." Thank me later. 1. DO not be a douchebag

— Spidey N. Gore (@moorehn) October 30, 2014

I renew my offer to double Charlie Pierce’s salary to write for any publication but Esquire.

[Image via Esquire]

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