Florida Passes Laws On Baggy Pants And Bestiality; Resulting In Best. Lede. Ever.

Admittedly, there was gold to be mined in this story: new Florida laws on bestiality and baggy pants. Florida, bestiality, baggy pants. That ought to be enough for most halfway proficient writers to serve up something clever. But Brian Hamacher at NBCMiami.com clearly wasn’t going to settle for simply good. He was going for legend, and he hit it.

Probably fueled with Cuban coffee and a sick sense of humor, Hamacher wrote this lede for the story:

“Floridians are going to have to start pulling up their pants and stop having sex with animals soon.”

Take a moment. Savor it. Wish you’d written it.

The article has other great moments, like an explanation that students caught showing their “underwear or butt crack” could face suspensions, and the nugget that this law has been known in Tallahassee as the “droopy drawers bill.”

Well done, Hamacher. But now you’ve raised the bar. How will you top yourself?

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