Hoosier Tells Ted Cruz to His Face: ‘You Look Like a Fish Monster! You’re a Terrible Person!’


If the past few days have taught us anything about Indiana, it’s that Hoosiers can be mean, and also hilarious. Texas Senator and current Republican presidential runner-up Ted Cruz spent good parts of Monday retail politicking in the state, and a pool camera caught some at times unpleasant, at times revealing, and at times hilarious moments as Cruz pressed the flesh at the Wagon Wheel restaurant in Bloomington.

In the revealing department, Ted Cruz told a woman who said she was a teacher that he wants to “abolish the federal Department of Education,” as well as end Common Core, but when the woman’s husband asks “Can you get it done?”, Cruz was less-than-emphatic:

Man: Can you get it done?

Cruz: Um, it depends. We can get some of it done.

This is where Cruz’s argument hits a snag, because he quite honestly tells the voter that he needs Congress to go along with him, which, were he to win the presidency, would be a tall order.

Also revealing was this exchange, in which Cruz slags Ohio voters by telling a couple that no Hoosier would act the way an Ohioan did. Guess Carly Fiorina was right, he really will say whatever he has to, wherever he is:

Once outside the restaurant, Cruz was greeted by a jeering throng of protesters who chanted “Go home Ted!” and, for some reason, “Sausage Time!” One man heckled Cruz over his name, shouting “Raphael! Why do you hate Latinos? Do you have to make yourself whiter?”, and a few minutes later, Cruz got off a zinger to the same man:

Sir, you seem to have real problems with anger. I would advise decaffeinating brands, they work just as well.

See, I’m pretty sure “decaffeinating brands” is what they call decaf in Canada.

Finally, there’s this pair, who asked Cruz for a handshake. The first guy then left Cruz hanging with a “Too slow, Joe,” and as good sport Cruz shook the second guy’s hand, the first one shouted “You look like a fish monster! You’re a terrible person!” Cruz was quick with a rejoinder:

“God bless you, sir.”

You have to give credit where credit is due, Cruz hung in there and shook lots of hands, and took lots of selfies despite the abuse that seemed to follow him around in a state that he absolutely has to win today. In a few hours, we’ll know if it was all worth it.

This is an opinion piece. The views expressed in this article are those of just the author.

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