Sarah Palin’s Never Before Seen 2008 Victory Speech Gets Leaked

As we approach the anniversary of the 2008 presidential election, many are looking back on President Obama‘s first year in office. But what if it never was? Today, The Daily Beast has the exclusive text of Sarah Palin‘s prepared speeches — win or lose — on that fateful night last November. And they’re as entertaining as one could’ve hoped.

The upcoming biography Sarah From Alaska uncovers new details from within the campaign, including the two speeches, written by Palin speechwriter Matthew Scully. Neither speech was delivered, and according to the Daily Beast, “senior McCain aides had to tell Palin several times that she would not be allowed to speak before the Alaska governor finally relented.”

Here are some of the most quotable selections from the speeches, as curated by the Daily Beast:

Best Lines from Palin’s Undelivered Victory Speech:

“And I said to my husband Todd that it’s not a step down when he’s no longer Alaska’s ‘First Dude.’ He will now be the first guy ever to become the ‘Second Dude.’”

“Had it gone the other way tonight, we would not have returned in sorrow to the great State of Alaska. We would have carried with us memories that are forever, and joyful experiences that do not depend on victory.”

“This is a moment when principles and political independence matter a lot more than just the party line.”

Best Lines from Palin’s Undelivered Concession Speech:

“If [Obama] governs America with the skill and grace we have often seen in him, and the greatness of which he is capable, we’re gonna be just fine.”

“Now it is time for us go our way, neither bitter nor vanquished, but instead confident in the knowledge that there will be another day.”

“It would be a happier night if elections were a test of valor and merit alone, but that is not for us to question now.”

“I told my husband Todd to look at the upside: Now, at least, he can clear his schedule, and get ready for championship title number five in the Iron Dog snow machine race!”

She also notes that “when a black citizen prepares to fill the office of Washington and Lincoln, that is a shining moment in our history that can be lost on no one.” Classy or crass?

The rest of the speeches is available here.