This Anti-Planned Parenthood Video Reminds Us That While Abortions Are Evil, ‘Vagina Macaroons’ Are Just As Bad!
The American Life League (which, if I remember correctly from my comic book reading days, once defeated Doctor Sinister and his evil Death Ray!) is “the largest grassroots Catholic pro-life education organization in the United States.” As part of their education, they have released a new video showing Planned Parenthood’s evil secret plot to get kids “hooked on sex.” The video’s getting a lot of play on various websites because, frankly, it’s pretty hilarious.
Oh…um…unless you agree with the American Life League, in which case it’s, uh, really scary, serious stuff. Totally.
Basically, the six minute video explains that Planned Parenthood doesn’t just do abortions. I know what you’re thinking: “Is it a video about Planned Parenthood’s tons of varied health services like cancer screenings?” And the answer is “Absolutely not!” Instead, the video explains that Planned Parenthood is actually like a drug dealer that attempts to get teenagers addicted to sex by filling their minds with stuff like “penis lollipops,” “vagina cakes,” and “vulva puppets.” These fiends then try to introduce kids to the ultimate “gateway drug”; masturbation!
This is so true. As we all know, teenagers hate masturbation. They’re all like, “Ew! Why would my hands end up anywhere near there? They’re too busy finishing my wonderful schoolwork.” Then, once Planned Parenthood shows them the obscene, educational Flash animation that the ALL discovered, the poor children can’t help but say, “My Gosh! I’m suddenly interested in sex! Not at all because of my own natural, biological urges, but entirely because I had a sex ed class!”
It’s true evil, folks.
So, please, watch the video below. Depending on your personal beliefs, it will either be this century’s answer to Reefer Madness or an example of terrifying, hard-hitting journalism.
Have a tip we should know? email@example.com