WaPo Columnist Destroys Hand After Dancing Too Hard at Wedding


Washington Post columnist Clinton Yates has a very important message for the world: If you find yourself dancing to the Jackson 5 too hard, and seriously injure your hand, please go to an ER within 12 hours, or else you won’t be able to use your hand for a month.

“I legitimately injured myself dancing to Jackson 5 last night,” he explained on Twitter a few days ago. “After the wedding and all, yall dont understand. I got super emotional and started crying bc it made a big scene and I was embarrassed…Being the guy who breaks and bleeds at the afterparty is not cool. Trust me.”

(But seriously, how could you not dance in these shoes.)

Apparently, other things that are not cool: going to the emergency room immediately. Yates learned a necessary lesson — i.e., go to the ER when you’re bleeding everywhere — when his hand looked like this two days later:

When you don’t go to the ER, you have to literally drain infections out of your body:

And then freaky medical robots do stuff to you:

And then, even after all that, it may be too late:

“So, apparently, after the first 12 hours, they can’t really do much,” he explained, adding that he was long past the point where stitches would have helped him. “Meaning, I’m just going to have to live with this.”

At least Yates got a massive prescription of mystery drugs out of it.

[h/t The Daily Caller]
[Image via Clinton Yates/Twitter]

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