Jon Stewart Cringes Through Romney’s Painful Southern Pandering

Are the things that matter most to Southerners their accent and choosing the right breakfast starch? Such is the question Daily Show host Jon Stewart posed to his viewership, as if breakfast starches weren’t high on the priority lists of all Americans. Stewart was referring, of course, to Mitt Romney‘s “Southern strategy,” which has been colored, for better or worse (choose wisely), by his recent comments about biscuits and grits.

“This poor guy… figuratively speaking,” Stewart lamented, “contorting himself just to win a few votes.”

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“Everything Mitt Romney learned about the South,” Stewart continued, “he learned from a Jeff Foxworthy routine.” The comedian did, of course, recently throw his support behind the former governor of Massachusetts. And because Foxworthy’s routine had been ruined by satellite issues over at Fox News that morning, Stewart stepped in and covered for him.

“If you have a car on your front lawn,” said Stewart, impressive Foxworthian mustache firmly in place, “’cause your garage only holds five cars… if you go to the diner and order your eggs ‘Fabergé’… if you think Cloverfield was a movie about your butler… You might be a Romney.”

Tip your waitress, folks.

Check it out, via Comedy Central. Y’all:

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