‘Snap Out of it!’: Stephen Colbert and Seth Meyers Are ‘Too Afraid to Hope’ or Believe the Polls


With 2016 flashbacks haunting them, Stephen Colbert and Seth Meyers were skeptical of Thursday polls that show Joe Biden with an impressive lead over President Donald Trump. 

The polls show that Biden has widened his national lead against the president, while state polls still show many close races in crucial battlegrounds.

“Snap out of it, Colbert. Don’t believe the polls,” joked the late night host. “You promised yourself after the last election that you would not Pokemon Go down that road again.”

The last election showed that Hillary Clinton had a sizable lead over Trump, both in national polls and in exit polls on Election Day, but of course, Trump was ultimately victorious.

“Experts say that we need hope for the future to help ward off this anxiety. However, some Americans say they’re too afraid to hope,” Colbert said on Thursday’s The Late Show. “This is likely a protective mechanism in response to the 2016 election. It feels like we’re all Charlie Brown going to kick the football, but we know at the last second Lucy’s gonna give us coronavirus.”

Colbert tried to figure out what in the world could be hurting the president with only five days left to go before the polls close.

“Strangely, Trump’s blatant disregard for human life seems to be hurting him with the key demographic of humans,” he concluded. “The latest ABC News/Washington Post/P.F. Chang’s Great Wall of Chocolate poll shows that Biden is leading Trump by 17 points in Wisconsin. Seventeen? Trump doesn’t know whether to be worried about that lead or to start dating it.”

Meyers joked that Biden’s lead over Trump is actually giving him more anxiety than if the race were closer.

“It’s like when your wife says she wants you to go on that guys’ trip to Vegas for the weekend and you’re like, ‘OK, so what are you gonna do?’” Meyers said before imitating a fake conversation with his wife: ‘Oh, nothing.’ ‘You won’t be, like, lonely?’ ‘Oh, no. I’ll be fine.’ ‘Well then I’m not going!’

“It’s the kind of maddening poll result designed to keep you up all night mainlining Xanax and digging through cross tabs: ‘All right, let’s see here. Biden is overperforming with liberal suburban women under 35 who drink Tazo tea and play tennis, but underperforming with centrist NASCAR dads over 50 who refer to the bathroom as their ‘office,’” joked the host.

Watch above, via YouTube.

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