Fox News Poll Reveals 3% Of Americans Believe 72 Virgins Greeted Ghost Osama

With terrorist fiend Osama bin Laden finally dead, it appears that the American media has taken to the fun posthumous exercise of finding out just how many people saw the world the way bin Laden did. While CNN got the ball rolling on Ghost Osama by finding that most Americans believed the was burning in Hell, Fox News now investigated the converse: how many Americans believe bin Laden is now engaging in illicit behavior with 72 virgins?

The shocking answer: not many. A good 3% of Americans believed bin Laden got what he was working for, while the rest of the nation described where he is right now as a “more negative end” or were unsure (which, in fairness, could be both Hell and simply being nibbled at by marine life at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean). And for the conspiracy theorists among you:15% of Americans think bin Laden met none of these ends because he may be still alive; only 78% think he’s “absolutely” dead.

While the belief that bin Laden may be alive might actually lead to a more interesting collective, who exactly those 3% of Americans are that actually believe bin Laden was greeted by a personal harem after his death is a fascinating question. Even factoring in the amount of people who said yes simply out of frustration with the fact that a news organization was putting resources into the question, that leaves a good 1% of Americans who believe that bin Laden got what eh worked for. Perhaps the secret may lie in the fact that the poll question doesn’t specify the age, sex, or attractiveness level of the virgins, nor what exactly they were doing to “greet” him.