After a pre-taped 700 Club segment on Tim Tebow Monday morning, hosts Pat Robertson and Terry Meeuwsen raved about the Denver quarterback’s outstanding performance Sunday night in the NFL playoffs, with Robertson remarking that it looked like Tebow had “lasers on his arm. It was unbelievable!”

Sometimes it’s hard to be in the news game when you know your rivals have such better sources. By this, I’m referring, of course, to Pat Robertson’s ability to speak to God Himself. The Lord recently talked to Robertson and told him who the next president will be and also that America is in line for a huge catastrophe because we were foolish enough to elect Barack Obama. Whereas some newsmen would become consumed by jealousy in the face of Robertson’s sweet Jehovah hookup, Stephen Colbert was ready to help the cause, praying for His forgiveness for electing that stupid, Socialist jerk face.

Stop the presses! It appears that at least one person on earth knows who the next president will be, and on a day in which the Iowa caucuses are the biggest news of the day, it just happens to be a Republican candidate who won Iowa. Pat Robertson took to the airwaves this week with the titillating news that God had told him about the next President, “but I’m not supposed to talk about that.” At the very least, Robertson assures us that the a “solar radiation blast” is not in America’s immediate future, and that the President’s “radical views” will be the cause of the nation being “torn apart by internal stress.”

Televangelist Pat Robertson was incensed by Saturday Night Live‘s parody of Denver Bronco’s quarterback Tim Tebow on Monday morning, calling it an attack on Christianity. “There’s an anti-Christian bigotry that is just disgusting and I think Saturday Night Live did a parody of that, had Jesus come in,” Robertson fumed. “If this had been a Muslim country and they had done that, and had Muhammad doing that stuff, you would have found bombs being thrown off!”

700 Club host Pat Robertson was utterly flummoxed over a Thanksgiving food item discussed by co-host Kristi Watts during an interview with former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice. “What is this Mac and Cheese, is that a black thing?” Robertson asked in bewilderment.

Pat Robertson has already made it clear that he’s not a huge fan of the Occupy Wall Street protests. But still, a loyal viewer of The 700 Club wanted him to clarify so he or she wrote in to ask if it was okay for Christians to join in. Robertson helpfully explained that, no, that was not a good idea. As he pointed out, not only are they violent revolutionaries inspired by the hateful rhetoric of the President, they’re also just so darn angry all the time!

The Republican Party’s rhetoric in the past year, particularly from candidates for president, has finally gotten to the extreme right– or at least to Pat Robertson, who surprisingly exclaimed this weekend that the candidates had to “stop this!” if they expected to win. After a quick recap of what “this” meant, precisely, and what extreme things Robertson deemed appropriate to say in public despite his calls for civility, Jon Stewart concluded tonight that the issue wasn’t what they believed, but letting the general public know about it.

Televangelist and mogul Pat Robertson — a man whose name is practically synonymous with the Religious Right — likely took 700 Club viewers by surprise today when he opined that the Republican base is losing support by “pushing” what he described as “an extreme position.” Robertson expressed worry that Republican front runners are going to [...]

On Monday’s 700 Club, televangelist Pat Robertson accused President Obama of spurring Occupy Wall Street protestors to rise up. “The match to the kindling is being provided by our noble president,” Robertson said. “He is inciting people to revolt.”

Buzzing around the blogosphere has been this clip from Tuesday’s 700 Club, in which the evangelical host Pat Robertson said divorce was acceptable if one’s spouse had Alzheimer’s, as the disease is a “type of death.”

Robertson’s provocative statement was spurred on by a viewer email who detailed a friend going through difficult times with his significant other who suffered from the disease and didn’t even recognize him anymore. The viewer’s friend wondered if he should be allowed to see other people.

And now we turn to The 700 Club‘s resident seismologist, Pat Robertson. Take it away, Pat!

It has been a while since religious personality and serial end-of-the-world predictor Pat Robertson warned that God would smite America over things he didn’t like– since last January, from our records. This week, Robertson’s fear that America will be destroyed has been stirred by New York legalizing same-sex unions. On the 700 Club this week, Robertson reminded his audience that the last city known for homosexuality, Sodom, had residents willing to rape visiting angels.

Admit it: lesbians rule the world. Everywhere you look, these titans of industry are running companies, controlling countries, and deciding the direction our society will take. How, then, are poor straight women supposed to catch up to their lucky Sapphic sisters? Well, by getting abortions, of course! At least, this is the logic that Pat Robertson seemed to be working with this morning on The 700 Club.

On Monday night’s Last Word, host Lawrence O’Donnell tried to make sense of a recent Sarah Palin interview with Pat Robertson‘s Christian Broadcasting Network, calling in a little backup in the form of “Sarah Palin translator” Alex Wagner. It’s a tough job, to be sure, but in deciphering Palin’s baffling assessment of the crisis in Egypt, I don’t think they quite nailed it. I’m getting pretty good at this, though, so I’ll happily take a stab at it.

Pat Robertson, founder of the Christian Broadcasting Network (CBN), appeared on the 700 Club to reveal his annual list of predictions that “the Lord” shared with him. In addition to our country being “in grave peril,” Robertson warned American will be led into bankruptcy and “in two years will come a time of reckoning.” Let the good times roll.

Pat Robertson more commonly garners media attention for blaming various things he doesn’t like on things that have little or nothing to do with them (e.g. the Haitian earthquake on the nation’s supposed pact with Satan, or the September 11th attacks on the ACLU and “the gays”). Yet this week he’s making headlines for comments that sound a lot less Pat Robertson and a lot more Cheech and Chong. Apparently, Pat Robertson supports decriminalizing marijuana.

Perhaps you all remember the story of Lance Baxter AKA D.C. Douglas AKA the guy who used to say “fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance” in Geico commercials. We say “used” because, a few weeks ago, he got fired for calling the Tea Party group FreedomWorks and asking how many of their members were “mentally retarded.” Well, he’s responded to his critics with a lengthy comedic “PSA” attacking FreedomWorks, the Tea Party, Fox News, Megyn Kelly, Pat Robertson, and more.

Hardly two weeks have elapsed since Pat Robertson, of The 700 Club, made headlines for the unusual bit of theodicy with which he sought to justify the earthquake that routed Port-au-Prince. Yesterday, Robertson was again in the news, in an article on the denouement of the murder trial of Scott Roeder for the assassination of Dr. George R. Tiller, that Roeder claimed Robertson’s show spurred him to take up arms against abortionists.

The tragedy and devastation unfolding in Haiti has brought everyone together. The constant bickering and finger-pointing of opinion journalism seems both irrelevant and inappropriate in the face the unfolding disaster. Except, as Jon Stewart points out not everyone has risen above the partisan fray. Last night, Stewart called out some of his favorite targets: Rush Limbaugh, Pat Robertson, and of course, Rachel Maddow. Whaaaaa?

Much has been written on this site about the despicable comments of Pat Robertson (who said that the Haiti earthquake was the result of a pact with Satan) and Rush Limbaugh (who, among other things, urged his listeners not to donate to relief efforts), both of which came up at today’s White House press briefing. Press Secretary Robert Gibbs’ responses were properly calibrated to the importance of these men at a time such as this.

As the carnage in Haiti rightly dominates the news, the seeming cliche´ that this “puts it all in perspective” really can’t be made enough. The horrified shame that Rachel Maddow displayed at the idea that the Haitian ambassador might think that Pat Robertson speaks for all Americans was remarkable. A smaller such moment, on last night’s Countdown, spoke volumes about the triviality of the current political media.

Adding to Shep Smith’s disgusted reaction to Robertson yesterday is Rachel Maddow, who last night called Robertson “the unintended consequence of your First Amendment.” And you know what? She’s right. Though somehow less frightening in the face of Twitter.

Morning Joe host Joe Scarborough, via his Twitter feed, tried to put Pat Robertson’s comments about Haiti’s pact with Satan, pointing out the televangelist’s charitable relief work. As a result, many in the Twitterverse who see this as a defense of Robertson’s remarks are Scorning Joe. Scarborough fought back. Here are some choice Tweets.

The Internet is ablaze with commentary and outrage over Pat Robertson‘s comments today blaming yesterday’s earthquake on a “pact to the devil” made by Haitians. Fox News anchor Shepard Smith aired the viral clip, and reminded viewers why he is so popular through his admonishment of Robertson, sternly saying “they don’t need that. Video after the jump.

An article on CBN.com that alleges, among other things, that “most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches” has been removed by the site after becoming an object of mockery by The Huffington Post.