Oliver Takes on Mandatory Minimums: ‘Prison Sentences Are a Lot Like Penises…’

For his main segment Sunday night, John Oliver attempted to pin down the problem with mandatory minimum prison sentences. It was perhaps best summed up with this analogy: “Prison sentences are a lot like penises. If they’re used correctly, even a short one can do the trick.”

“Mandatory minimums require judges to punish certain crimes with a minimum number of years in prison regardless of context, which is a little strange, because context is important,” Oliver explained near the top of the segment. “For instance, shouting the phrase ‘I’m coming!’ is fine when catching a bus, but not okay when you’re already on the bus.”

The comedian proceeded to look at a series of specific cases in which low-level drug offenders have spent nearly their entire lives in prison for making what amount to nothing more than stupid mistakes. On one man who was sentenced to life in prison for possessing three ounces of meth, Oliver decried the fact that the system treats him like “season five Walter White when he was barely season one Jesse Pinkman.”

Oliver commended President Barack Obama for commuting the sentences of 46 federal drug offenders this month, but said it’s far from enough. “Drugs have hurt people, for sure,” the host said. “But the mandatory minimum sentencing laws designed to stop them have done way more harm than good.”

Watch video below, via HBO:

[Photo via screengrab]

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