SNL Cold Open Parodies Tucker Carlson Tonight to Skewer Trump’s Defense Team: ‘Philly-vania-pennsyl-delphia!’
Saturday Night Live’s cold open was a parody of Tucker Carlson Tonight that skewered former President Donald Trump’s impeachment defense team and several other Republicans who supported him.
“I’m your host, and human White Claw, Tucker Carlson,” said Alex Moffat as the Fox News host, announcing the news about Trump’s acquittal earlier in the day at his second impeachment trial.
“The impeachment has reached its foregone conclusion with the acquittal of Donald J. Trump,” said Moffat’s Carlson, introducing “65-year-old teacher’s pet” Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC), played by Kate McKinnon.
“It’s a great day for 30 percent of America!” McKinnon’s enthusiastic Graham exclaimed, adding that now that the trial was over, it was time to “focus on the serious issues, that’s locking up Hillary [Clinton] and freeing beautiful Britney Spears.”
“The important thing is, the good guys won again,” said Graham. “And we couldn’t have done it without this bastard. Get in here, Ted Cruz!”
Aidy Bryant, portraying the Texas Senator, then entered, asking about the chyron at the bottom of the screen. “SEN. TED CRUZ: TRUMP SAID ‘WIFE UGLY,'” it said.
“Oh, yeah,” replied Cruz. “That’s what Trump said about my wife. Yeah. I think she’s beautiful. But since Trump is the boss — sorry, honey — busted!”
“Just in time for Valentine’s Day. Wow,” said Carlson. “And can I say, the beard is working.”
“Well, you’d be the first,” Cruz replied.
The sketch then mocked some of the verbal tics of Trump’s defense attorneys.
“This was supposed to be my last day,” said Pete Davidson as Michael van der Veen. “Already bought a nonrefundable train ticket back to Philly-vania-pennsyl-delphia. But if they insist on witnesses, I’m going to call some of my own. Like Vice President Kahlua Harris. Enya Pressley. And Ilhan Omaha. Did I mispronounce the names of these women of color on purpose or out of ignorance? You’ll never know!”
After a video montage parodying the defense’s video that played repeated clips of Democrats using the word “fight,” Beck Bennett appeared as Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY).
When asked why he voted to acquit Trump, Beck’s McConnell replied, “Because everyone knows you cannot impeach a former president. That’s why we should have impeached him before, back when I said we couldn’t.”
“That logic pretzels out,” replied Carlson.
Watch the video above, via NBC.
