On occasion, Anthony Bourdain will gladly hang out with the most outcast, marginalized eaters in society. But for those times where a subject ends up being unreachable due to, say, a geopolitical conflict a half-century long and self-imposed reclusion as a foreign policy tactic, Vanity Fair’s David Kamp will gladly imagine such a scenario.
For instance: what happens when Bourdain films an episode of No Reservations with North Korea’s Dear Leader Kimg Jon-Un?
BOURDAIN: So, you were ordered to get fat so you’d look more like your grandfather? I would fucking love to have that be my job.
KIM: Today, Tony, as my honored guest in Pyongyang, you share my job!
BOURDAIN (raising glass of soju): Death to the imperialist fast-food ConAgra obesity-promoting plastic-cheese-eating capitalist American pigs!
KIM: May they wail like knobby-kneed primary-school girls in scanty uniforms as our People’s Army unleashes upon them an epic sea of hellfire with the heat of a thousand suns!
And so forth into the twisted mind of the Dear Leader.
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