SNL Cold Open’s Donald Trump Has Some New NFT Cards to Peddle and Isn’t a Fan of ‘Ron DeSanta’

Saturday Night Live’s cold open featured James Austin Johnson’s portrayal of former President Donald Trump peddling his heavily-mocked Trump Digital Trading Cards for Christmas.

The sketch began with the Trump character introducing himself as “hopefully your favorite president of all time” and — after mispronouncing “NFTs” as “nifties” — promoting the “incredible artwork” on the cards like “when I was an astronaut.”

Later in the sketch, Trump showed cards portraying him “melting Biden’s ice cream with my big laser eyes,” “or even me as Jessica Rabbit,” whom he joked “perhaps I would be dating her, if she wasn’t me,” a reference to a creepy comment the real Trump once made about his own daughter.

The card’s price was $99 each, he continued. “It seems like a lot. It seems like a scam. And in many ways it is.”

“You can also get them for free,” Trump admitted, “by just going online and looking at them, maybe, I don’t know. Maybe taking a screenshot, but we’d really prefer if you sent the $99.”

The cards “sure sound a lot like Pokémon but trust me, it is not Pokémon,” he made sure to clarify.

Donald Trump Jr. (played by Mikey Day) — whom Trump introduced as “my third least embarrassing child” — and Kimberly Guilfoyle (played by Cecily Strong) popped in to promote her Christmas CD, Now That’s What No One Else Calls Music, with some unsurprisingly bad singing.

Trump then ran through a list of topics, including claiming credit for bringing back people saying “Merry Christmas,” which is “very important to Christians and I think Jewish, too,” and saying he was visited by three ghosts last night, well, “four, if you include Epstein.”

“We love Santa, don’t we folks? We love Santa,” Trump continued, “But not Ron DeSanta. We don’t like DeSanta so much. I mean, the guy looks like a Roblox. And he’s not even much of a Santa, is he? He’s really more of a Grinch.”

Watch the video above, via NBC.

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