All the Most Deranged Right-Wing Grifters Are Declaring Taylor Swift Ugly

Jamie FreveleSep 26th, 2023, 4:23 pm
 
Taylor Swift

Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP

Taylor Swift, the award-winning musician whose tour had a calculable impact on the American economy and its voters and whose fan base causes actual earthquakes, attended a professional football game on Sunday. And now, very opinionated men on the far-right are calling her “ugly.”

Before we consider how upset this must make Swift and all the dollar bills that serve to dry her tears at night, let’s put this in a little more context. Swift was at the game between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Chicago Bears, seated in the VIP box with Donna Kelce, the mother of Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce. She was later seen leaving the game with Travis Kelce, leading to speculation that these two very tall people are possibly dating each other, as young, single people are wont to do. She also may be responsible for the game’s huge ratings.

So, why would anyone be mad about this? Who cares? Well, the angry men of the right are very angry. First they took out their anger on Travis Kelce, who committed the cardinal sins of promoting the Covid vaccine and drinking a Bud Light in public. And now, to further disgrace this professional football player who won two Super Bowls but is dumb enough to drink beer and believe science, they are calling his maybe-girlfriend ugly.

Nick Adams, who is so secure in his manhood that his Twitter bio declares him to be “Nick Adams (Alpha Male),” is also calling for a boycott of the NFL because a girl showed up:

Because as everyone knows, when a girl shows up, we curse everything we touch. Like a pirate ship. With lots of money on it.

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