Bill Simmons Was in the Middle of a Colonoscopy When Celtics Made Blockbuster Jaylen Brown Trade: ‘Had a Camera in My A**!’

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Bill Simmons revealed Thursday that he was in the middle of a colonoscopy when the Boston Celtics traded star forward Jaylen Brown.

The Celtics stunned the basketball world Wednesday when they traded Brown to the Philadelphia 76ers. To acquire Brown, the Sixers sent a trade package that included forward Paul George and multiple future draft picks.

Celtics fans were beside themselves after the news broke. Brown, 29, led the Celtics to a 56-26 record in the 2025-26 regular season. The success of the team was especially impressive given the fact that it was without star Jayson Tatum for the vast majority of the season. Tatum tore his achilles in the previous postseason, costing him most of 2025. Brown was also the Finals MVP when he and Tatum helped the team win the championship in 2023.

On Thursday morning, Simmons — a diehard Celtics fan — revealed what he was doing the moment the trade went down.

“My wife’s waiting to pick me up and she goes, ‘They traded Jalen Brown!'” Simmons said on his podcast. “I’m like– I had just woken up from anesthesia and I’m not, as you guys know, not really coherent. And I’m like, ‘Where did he go?’ And she’s like, ‘To Philly for Paul George and two first-round picks.’ And I’m like, I think I’m dead. I think I died. The anesthesia killed me and now I’m a dead person, and I’m just trying to process it and it’s, you know, it’s like I have a head injury. And I’m like, ‘Is there more, are there more first round picks? Did they get the Clippers’ first?'”

Simmons went on to describe how his daughter, a big fan of Brown, was “upset” with the move. After looking at the time the trade was reported, Simmons realized he was in the middle of his colonoscopy at the time.

“So when this trade happened at 3:20 Pacific time, I had a camera in my ass and I had Paul George being rammed up my ass,” Simmons continued, “and that was happening at the same time. And that’s how I’m gonna remember July 1st, 2026.”

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