Grammy Awards 2010: Beyonce vs. Taylor vs. Gaga, and Other Showdowns

Here’s the central question of tonight’s Grammy awards: Was Kanye right?

Is Taylor Swift all well and good, but did Beyoncé have the best video of all time — and the best record, album, song, female pop performance? Or will everyone be gaga for Gaga? And how often do you think “gaga for Gaga” will show up if you google it tonight? Gaga for Gaga on Google?

In any case, in a few short hours the Grammy Awards kick off, and the multiple-nominated divas of the last year in music will be pitted against each other in a ferocious death match — at least until the next awards show.

In the meantime we will not only have the divas mentioned, but one other major entrant: Elton John who will be opening the show with Lady Gaga. I cannot wait for their collaboration in fashion and playing the piano on stilts. This is going to be epic.

Also potentially epic: A lifetime achievement award to be posthumously given to Michael Jackson, featuring a tribute performance by Carrie Underwood, Jennifer Hudson, Smokey Robinson, Celine Dion and Usher, plus a 3D screening of a clip from This Is It. Good thing I stole those glasses from Avatar. The award will be accepted by Jackson’s children, Prince Michael and Paris. Look for a moment of genuine emotion here; those kids have not been seen since the funeral of their father, and amidst the flashbulbs and headlines and Twitter-shaking coverage, they are two kids who have kept a very low profile. So tonight all eyes will be on them.

Other performers: Drake, Eminem, Lil Wayne and Travis Barker, Green Day, Bon Jovi, Mary J. Blige, Andrea Bocelli, Jamie Foxx , T-Pain, Slash and Doug E. Fresh (seriously? That’s the name of someone who’s supposed to be cool?). And apparently “Pants On The Ground” will make it in there somewhere.

Also, Hollywood Life tells me that Cory Monteith from Glee is dating Taylor Swift. Thank God John Mayer‘s creepy hands are nowhere near our innocent angel. We now know where those hands have been. p.s. Thanks to Hollywood Life for the fun illustrations!

Here are my arbitrary picks for a few of the categories. Agree? Disagree?

Record of the Year:

Halo – Beyoncé
I Gotta Feeling – Black Eyed Peas
Use Somebody – Kings of Leon
Poker Face – Lady Gaga
You Belong With Me – Taylor Swift

Grammy loves an up-and-comer.

Album Of The Year:
I Am… Sasha Fierce
The E.N.D.
The Fame
Big Whiskey And The Groogrux King
Fearless

Grammy loves a compromise.

Song Of The Year:
Poker Face
Pretty Wings
Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)
Use Somebody
You Belong With Me

Grammy loves dancing to this song.

Best New Artist:
Zac Brown Band
Keri Hilson
MGMT
Silversun Pickups
The Ting Tings

Grammy would like to point out that MGMT is NOT new.

Best Female Pop Vocal Performance:
Adele – Hometown Glory
Beyoncé – Halo
Katy Perry – Hot N Cold
Pink – Sober
Taylor Swift – You Belong With Me

Grammy thinks this video is fun. Oh, let me shake it up a bit.

Best Male Pop Vocal Performance:
John Legend – This Time
Maxwell – Love You
Jason Mraz – Make It Mine
Seal – If You Don’t Know Me by Song
Stevie Wonder – All About the Love Again

Grammy liked it better when it was by Bryan Adams, but still. It’s John Legend’s time.

Best Pop Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals:

I Gotta Feeling – The Black Eyed Peas
We Weren’t Born To Follow – Bon Jovi
Never Say Never – The Fray
Sara Smile – Daryl Hall & John Oates
Kids – MGMT

Grammy always wants to go out when it hears this song. But welcome back, Hall & Oates.

More nominees here. See you at showtime!