Do You Want To Be The Next Cable News Star? Start Screaming
Are you disillusioned with the path President Barack Obama and the current administration is taking this country? Do you want to see yourself on TV?
In the past, if you had complaints about the government people would tell you to write a letter. But letter-writing is so pre-24-hour-cablers. Here’s a step-by-step plan to get you your face all over your favorite, and least favorite, cable news shows:
Find out where a local meeting is: It doesn’t just have to be an official “town hall.” You can go to any sort of meeting where they may be talking health care. Try to find a Democratic Congressman who is running this. If not, settle for a Republican.
Find a camera and a friend: Make sure it’s not too high quality, or else it will look fake and everyone (well, everyone not on Fox News) will think you’re a plant. A Flip cam is good, or a regular cell phone that has video. Make sure you have a friend who won’t get too angry him/herself, or else the camera will shake and the quality will suffer.
Go to the meeting: This is very important. You don’t want to get so angry you blow all your energy on the car ride over. Do not listen to conservative talk radio at all the day of the meeting.
Get angry: Be loud. Be combative. Interrupt. If the person running the meeting tells you to wait your turn, say things like “you work for us!” and “why won’t you listen to the public?!” Boo often. During the official Q&A section, make sure you don’t ask a question, and instead just give that person a piece of your mind. Do not look at the camera.
Upload the video to YouTube: Do this very quickly, preferably that night. Give it a title like “Town Hall Meeting Explodes” or “Free Speech Silenced.”
Send the video to every cable news network: Do not just stop at Fox News. There will be some news networks (CNN and MSNBC) that may suggest, or at least imply, you may be planted by the insurance companies or right-wing organizations. But they will still play your clip over and over again. Meanwhile, make sure in your email to Fox you give all your contact information, because they may ask you to come on and ‘tell your side of the story.’
Watch cable news the next day, and every day: If you’re loud enough and abrasive enough, that means you get to be replayed constantly on every cable news network. Get that DVR ready.
Bonus points if you’re very old, a minority or a veteran. Also, if you cause a riot. Good luck!
