Experts Warn Against Putting Herb Detox Balls in Your Hoo-Ha

Sometimes, the best way to think outside the box is to get right inside it. Unfortunately for Embrace Pangaea, a company that sells herbal remedies and holistic consultations, experts are warning against the use of their top product: herbal womb detox pearls.

The balls are meant to ward off endometriosis and ovarian cysts, which you should know off the bat are extremely painful disorders that often require extensive surgery to correct. Embrace Pangaea doesn’t care. Embrace Pangaea is selling balls of who-knows-what to women and telling them to put these mystery balls in their vajunks to avoid disease and pain.

The problem is that the womb detox pearls have actually been linked to toxic shock syndrome, according to The Independent, and don’t even trade endometriosis for it; they’re ineffective and dangerous. The “pearls” are basically small tea bags, satchels of perfumed herbs, and the company insists that the herbs remove “toxins.”

Don’t just take my word for it! A gynecologist named Dr. Jen Gunter wrote a blog post as soon as she heard about these awful things and that blog post includes the following excellent phrase: “Your uterus isn’t tired or depressed or dirty and your vagina has not misplaced its chakra.”

The detox isn’t the only hokey hoo-ha product hawked by Embrace Pangaea, either. There is also a set of pearls that purports to encourage vaginal tightening, among other herb combos that are meant to combat specific disorders, like bacterial vaginosis.

In short, latch that snatch. Dam up the clam. Seriously, don’t put any herbs in your vagina. I mean it. No herbs. None. No matter what Broad City says.

[image via screengrab]

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This is an opinion piece. The views expressed in this article are those of just the author.