Five Jokes About “Dirtbag” Tiger Woods, Courtesy Of Glenn Beck

Is it just us, or has Glenn Beck been awfully low-key lately? Maybe it’s just post-Thanksgiving mellowness or Christmas Sweater promotions or something, but he has not been up to the grandstanding stunts like pretending to boil a live frog or finding communist artwork at 30 Rock that made him a household name/Glee punchline in record time.

Which is why we almost missed these Tiger Woods jokes Beck told on his radio program two days ago. He also called Tiger a “dirtbag:”From Beck’s riffs on the Tiger Woods scandal on The Glenn Beck Program, with cohost Pat Gray:

• “What does Tiger Woods have in common with a baby seal? They both get clubbed by a Scandinavian.”
• “Tiger’s been dropped from the rider’s cup team as his terrible pattern of being beaten by Europeans continues.”
• “What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.”

What Woods should tell his wife about self-proclaimed mistress Jamie Grubbs:

• “Who’s Jamie? The one that’s polishing my clubs.”

A final piece of advice that is not actually a joke at all:

• “Here’s a way to stop it. Admit you’re a dirtbag and then move on.”

(from The Glenn Beck Program, via Digg)

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