The original book installations have sold over 85 million copies — a rare home run these days for the publishing industry. The first film, against many expectations (“We just thought we were making a little cult movie,” says cast member Ashley Greene), grossed over $385 million domestically. And the saga’s second chapter, New Moon — if Entertainment Weekly’s slavish drooling is any indication — will also be a mega-hit.
Like it or not — like any wildly popular series, Twilight has many haters — but the saga is part of our literary zeitgeist, a cultural touchstone that even the anti-sparkly can’t avoid. And just like the Potter series, one just can’t help internally casting their favorite media figures as characters in the saga.
After all, if there’s any mythic creature that media characters resemble, we think “soulless vampires” and “werewolves
Here’s our take on the media, Forks style.
Charlie Swan: Geraldo Rivera
He’s protective. He’s obsessed with crime. He just looks Dad-like. He’s got a moustache. Bella Swan’s overbearing pop, or Geraldo Rivera? Totes interchangable.
Renee Swan: Kathie Lee Gifford
Stephenie Meyer never explicitly states it in the series, but Bella’s mama is a hot mess. Described as “erratic and scatterbrained,” she acts first and thinks later. We picture her as the kind of woman who would flirt inapropriately with Bella’s high school friends after one too many gin and tonics. She has the best intentions, though — but still, Bella is grown-up in that relationship. She’s loud, excitable, and somewhat incomprehensible at times. Sound like a certain 4th hour host to you? Thought so.
Bella Swan: Ana Marie Cox
In the Twilight saga, almost everyone (except for some meanie vampires) loves Bella Swan. Young, lovely, but with attitude — sounds a lot like Ana Marie Cox,
>>>NEXT: Which media members represent the Cullen family?