Colbert: ‘I Don’t Know Much’ About Kavanaugh, But His First Name ‘Sounds More Like A Waiter at Ruby Tuesday’


Stephen Colbert kicked off his show Tuesday night by recapping the announcement of President Donald Trump‘s SCOTUS nominee Brett Kavanaugh, or as he referred to it as “America’s Next Top Judge.”

“I had a little drinking game. I pour myself a drink every time my glass was empty,” Colbert told his audience. “I won!”

Colbert admitted that he doesn’t “know much” about Kavanaugh, but mocked his first name  since it sounded more like “a waiter at Ruby Tuesday’s” than a Supreme Court justice.

“Hey everybody! I’m Brett. I’ll be your Supreme Court justice tonight. Before you sit down, let me clear away these rights for you,” Colbert impersonated Kavanaugh as a server at the chain restaurant.

The Late Show host complained about how young Kavanaugh is, specifically because he was one year younger than Colbert himself.

“I don’t want some kid making constitutional decisions!” Colbert exclaimed. “I’m 54 and I still can’t decide whether I’m Team Edward or Team Jacob!”

Colbert pointed out that Kavanaugh attended the same prep school as Trump’s previous SCOTUS nominee Neil Gorsuch, which explains why Kavanaugh was voted “second most likely to repeal Roe v Wade.” And he blasted the current nominee for calling on Congress in 2009 to pass a law that exempts a president from criminal prosecution.

“So Trump picked the guy who thinks presidents shouldn’t be prosecuted!” Colbert reacted. “That’s like Steph Curry picking the ref and the ref has previously ruled, ‘Warriors #1! Woo!'”

He also mentioned how Kavanaugh represented Elian Gonzalez, the boy who was taken by immigration back to Cuba in 2000.

“Remember when Republicans got upset when we tried taking one Hispanic child away from his family?” Colbert asked.

Watch the clip above, via CBS.

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