Late Night Roundup: The Hosts Review Bolton’s Tell All, Mock Trump’s Failure at Stopping it
Late-night hosts Stephen Colbert, Trevor Noah, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon, and Seth Meyers shared some of the revelations detailed in John Bolton’s new book, mocking President Donald Trump’s failed attempts at silencing his former National Security Advisor.
“According to Bolton, Trump’s ignorance is near-bottomless. Apparently, Trump didn’t seem to know that Britain was a nuclear power and asked if Finland were part of Russia. Now, you can understand his confusion there, because under President Trump, it feels like we’re kind of part of Russia.”
The host added that Bolton should not have been surprised by his time in the Trump administration, noting that Chief of Staff John Kelly allegedly warned him that the White House was a bad place to work and that he was desperate to leave.
“Sounds like working there was like the movie Get Out, except the characters were much more hostile to black people,” Colbert said.
“John Bolton knew it was wrong to stand idly by and accept the president repeatedly obstructing justice,” Colbert added. “He knew that the right thing was to stand idly by and wait on that book deal.”
Noah revealed that despite Trump’s attempts at burying the secrets inside of Bolton’s memoir, including suing the former National Security Advisor, the book is selling out in stores.
“Donald J. Trump has got to be one of the most short-sighted people in history,” Noah said. “Of course the book is number one on Amazon now! Because you trying too hard to keep it locked up just makes more people want to read it.”
The host went after Bolton for waiting six months after the impeachment trial to reveal his secrets, in the form of a memoir, instead of testifying when he had the chance.
“Who sees their country in terrible danger from an unhinged president and goes, ‘I need to warn the people! Chapter One: I was born on a bright autumn day in 1948,’” Noah joked.
Noah then noted that the president is the topic of a second tell-all book by his niece Mary Trump, who he’s also suing because he made her sign an NDA in 2001, which must make for some very awkward Thanksgivings.
Kimmel also went after the president for having two tell-alls coming out, both of which he’s trying desperately to stop.
“Trump claims his niece’s book would violate the terms of a nondisclosure agreement he had her sign in 2001. Imagine having an NDA with your niece,” he said. “That’s really all you need to know about someone.”
The host then listed several of the revelations detailed in the experts published from Bolton’s book, including the fact that Trump didn’t know Britain was a nuclear power, the president claiming journalists should be executed, and that he didn’t know where Finland is.
“Could you imagine the president asking his advisers if Finland is part of Russia?” Kimmel asked. “He’s the president of the United States. This is like your mechanic asking if the muffler is part of the glove compartment.”
Fallon also mocked Trump’s attempts at trying to stop people from reading Bolton’s book, pointing out that the more you tell people not to do something, the more they want to do it.
“If the lawsuit fails, Trump has a backup plan. He is going to build a chain-link fence around every Barnes & Noble,” he joked. “At this point, Trump’s sued more books than he’s read.”
“Yep, Bolton says he knew he had a duty to tell Americans the truth,” he added. “Once the check cleared for his book advance.”
Meyers noted that its hard to pick a side in Trump’s spat with his ex-aide, adding that Bolton should have exposed these incidents months ago.
“There’s no one, no one to root for in a Trump-versus-Bolton fight. They’re both megalomaniac sociopaths looking out for themselves,” he added. “It’s a real ‘Alien vs Predator’ situation, except all you need to do to stop Alien Trump is install a ramp.”
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