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Colbert Compares Papa John’s Pizza To The ‘Ass Of A Raccoon That Drowned In Your Birdbath’

Colbert Compares Papa John Pizza To 'Ass Of Raccoon That Drowned In Your Birdbath'

Stephen Colbert is not a fan of Papa John’s pizza. We gathered as much from his report on the company CEO’s (known forthwith as “The Papa”) estimate that his pies would cost about 14 cents more under ObamaCare.

Likening eating the pizza to something worse than consuming “the ass of a raccoon that drowned in your birdbath” (you scoff, but I believe “demi-raw filet de raccoon with birdbath froth mousse” is served alongside cheesy garlic bread at Brooklyn-area Papa John’s locations), Colbert revealed that he’d rather we keep our dignity by simply eating nickels instead.

But what if Papa John’s pizza crusts were stuffed with Chick-fil-A chicken? Too spicy for Mitt Romney‘s own personal taste in pizza, most likely, but we think many consumers would like it just fine.

Check it out, courtesy of Comedy Central:

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