11 Other Kinda Exciting Things Involving People and Balloons

I Have Nothing Better to Do

Nothing says conspicuous consumption like the combination of product placement and ill-advised, extremely dangerous, unskilled, unguided and generally unsuccessful attempts to set absolutely meaningless records — so over the decades, ballooning becomes the sport of the utra-rich. Take, for example, Richard Branson (of the Virgin Galactic Bransons) and some other rich guys, and their repeated semi-forgettable failed attempts in the ’90 to make the most meaningless gesture ever by circumnavigating the globe nonstop in something you can’t actually steer. The crashes were fun tho.

Success?

So in 1999, Bertrand Piccard and Brian Jones actually do circumnavigate the globe nonstop in a balloon. Yes, he’s a descendant of the first Piccard. Yes, the only thing more boring than rich people with too much time and too little sense crashing their balloons while attempting to circle the globe in a lighter-than-air craft is them successfully doing so. Move along.

…To the People

Of course, balloon-related self-destructiveness should not be the domain of the wealthy alone. That would be undemocratic. Enter Larry Walters. In 1982, this all-American truck driver with a dream did what absolutely no one before had bothered to dream of doing – combined a lawn chair and forty-some-odd helium filled weather balloons into his own personal deathcraft. As he reached his peak altitude of around 11,000 feet, “Lawn Chair Ballooning,” or “aggressive evolutionary self-editing” was born.

Media Strategy

With the assistance of a BB gun to shoot out his balloons when they proved too many, Larry made it home fine.  Please do note, the press was there start to finish.

Next Page: The Brazilian Balloon Priest, Plus Adorable Cartoons

This is an opinion piece. The views expressed in this article are those of just the author.