Ready Your Crisis Gardens For The Impending Government Collapse

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by Frances Martel | 3:11 pm, March 9th, 2010

» 9 comments

Remember December 1999, when everyone started fearfully planning for the impending Y2K Armageddon by stuffing their basements with gallons of water and cans of barely-edible processed vegetables? To Glenn Beck listeners– and, as of yesterday, viewers– that’s about to start happening all over again. While having aired several times on his radio program before (and making appearances on other right-wing pundits’ pages), viewers got a first taste of the Survival Seed Bank’s “Crisis Garden” seeds last night during Beck’s program, where the ad argued that “non-hybrid seeds could become more valuable than even silver or gold” in the impending economic collapse.

The Survival Seed Bank advertises itself as a company selling vegetable- and fruit-producing seeds for use in developing one’s own crops once the nation collapses under the prodigious weight of its own massive government. The first thing to be affected, they claim, is the food supply, which will diminish in no time. And by “no time,” they mean (emphasis mine):

As the meltdown progresses, one of the first things to be affected will be our nation’s food supply. Expect soaring prices along with moderate to severe shortages by spring. If you don’t have the ability to grow your own food next year, your life may be in danger. Supply lines for food distribution in this country are about three days, meaning a dependence on “just in time” distribution systems, which will leave store shelves empty in the event of even the smallest crisis.

To keep your family safe and save tons of money on food, grow your own! Survival Seed Bank offers “nutrient-dense food for pennies per pound… enough to feed friends and family forever!” They also promise the seeds won’t be genetically modified or hybrids, which doesn’t seem particularly smart, since genetic modification of plants has produced larger, stronger, and more nutritious crops.

The Survival Seed company even has a testimonials page, where an overjoyed Brian Williams (sadly, not the one on NBC Nightly News) stands around his survival crops, exclaiming, “People would drive down my street to see ‘the garden in the front yard’!” It sounds a bad idea to publicize that your garden has delicious survival crops when the impending international crisis forces all Americans to loot and scavenge their neighbors’ houses for food, but Mr. Williams simply couldn’t keep the secret to himself. And there are plenty more satisfied customers on the page.

The survival seed mania seems to have been partially driven by stories circulating on World Net Daily, which gets name-dropped on the Survival Seed site, suggesting that the government is hoarding and increasingly regulating food for nefarious reasons. WND has been pursuing the issue frequently, running articles denouncing the government for attempting to inspect a cow farm, hiding the impending food shortage from the American people and uninvitedly playing chef in our kitchens (that last piece by WND superstar Chuck Norris). The campaign seems to have worked, as the fears have spawned a company dedicated to make America once again a nation of farmers, and one capable of getting airtime on one of the most-watched program in cable news.

To put a face to the phrase “Crisis Garden,” check out the ad that aired during The Glenn Beck Program last night below:

Brian Williams, Chuck Norris, Conspiracy Theories, Crisis Garden, crops, food shortage, fox news, Glenn Beck, seeds, Survival Seed Bank, survival seeds, Talk Radio, This Exists, World Net Daily

valkyrie101

A natural fit for Beck who, pursuant to his interpretation of the Mormon end of days scenario, believes that the apocalypse is at hand. Well, even he has his doubts on that, so he has been attempting to usher it in via the hysteria he conveys. Thus, the imminent collapse of the U.S. monetary system (buy gold), the storing up of food supplies in your basement, plenty of guns to hold off the marauding un-dead, and the appearance of the anti-Christ and his minions (Obama and other communist/socialist/fascists). I wish I was just kidding but I actually believe that is where Beck is coming from. Please talk me down. :-)
The Real Royal King

The great thing about Amerika is that we always have a group of whackos who pledge their supreme allegiance to an even greater whacko.
http://www.sailrabbits.com Magister

It’s important to also note that the survival seed bank is indestructible and “can be buried to avoid confiscation”.

(I had actually gathered a few images from their website a few days ago, when I first saw the banner ad on Beck’s site with plans to post something to my own blog, but hadn’t gotten around to it.)

(The other advertiser that day was a generator for when the power supply goes dark and though I’m sure SSB bought the TV ad from FNC, the “advertise” link on Beck’s site is a formmail to a Tampa company that brags about their web management deal with glennbeck.com. IOW: It’s a targeted ad)
marcus.lewis

Well as silly as their premise is, perhaps people will start eating healthier foods.
smitty0830

Although I haven’t gone as far as to invest in seeds, I find it a little bothersome that people actually believe that the US is indestructable and could never collapse. Survivors survive because they think outside of the box and think the unthinkable.
http://www.sailrabbits.com Magister

@smitty0830: We’re America. I’m under the impression that most people see no outside threats and they believe that we can overcome anything from within. Sure, a remote possibility may exist for some kind of “Jericho-like” scenario, but just like every dramatic treatment that came before (Red Dawn), the script had us brushing ourselves off and working through the problem.

(It’s the American Way. We “tamed” a continent and built a “shining city on a hill”.)

Plus, where are you going to plant an acre’s worth of garden, where it can’t be seen from the air?

IMO: The company has a unique marketing plan and they’ve identified a target market, but from the point-of-view of an “Optimistic American”, the concept is funny as heck.
timzank

Who actually sells the air time and approves the advertisers and their content? It ain’t Glenn Beck boys and girls. Unless of course he bought FNC.
SWWT

Look, make fun of them all you want, but when you wake up next year and stroll into your local grocery market only to find that there are no food on the shelves and that the entire country is on the verge of complete and apocalyptic collapse… guess who will be laughing then.

Either way, I’m totally laughing right now. That commercial was awesome. LOL
roxyb

Preparing for a possible but unlikely emergency is one thing. “Investing” in “survivor seed packages” {that have 1/9th the # of seeds that can be bought elsewhere for the same price (for the same type of seeds)} because you are terrified (or on the other hand maybe gleeful) that certain doom is about to come at any moment is something else.