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Stephen Colbert Outraged Over Obama ‘Forcing Priests To Hand Out Condoms At Mass’

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» 104 comments

Stephen Colbert was enraged at President Obama‘s, “vengeful crusade against the Catholic Church,” on Tuesday night, “forcing priests to handout condoms at mass.”

“I am outraged as a Catholic!” Colbert exclaimed. “No, no, I am outraged as the Catholic. I am sorry, Pope Benedict, but you lost my respect in 2010 when you came out in favor of universal health care. I say if Jesus wanted everyone to have insurance he’d have been crucified on a Blue Cross/Blue Shield!”

“I tell you, folks,” Colbert continued. “There is nothing we American Catholics enjoy more than defending the church’s stance on contraception. It’s a central tenet of our faith. As deeply held in our belief in marble, Jesus on snack food, and unintentionally hot school uniforms.”

RELATED: Stephen Colbert Writes Jimmy Fallon A Valentine, Hoping To End Ice Cream-Fueled Feud

Colbert went on to describe Obama’s attack on his faith; turning to a demonstration using a banana, a condom… and a guillotine.

Watch Colbert lambaste President Obama below via Comedy Central:

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  • Anonymous

    Stephen Colbert spreads more talking points that half his audience will believe to be true.  

    The daily show does a good job softening up the minds of the naive and stupid to better accept the DNC’s talking points, then colbert finishs the job….

  • Anonymous

    Colbert is the last true beacon of conservatism in this country.

  • Anonymous

    I don’t understand why Mediaite finds it necessary to report on Colbert’s shenanigans.  He is totally irrelevant to the country’s political discourse.  Why not report on The Onion?  The value would be about the same.

  • Anonymous

    And your belief that he is a conservative is an example of the stupidity I described in my post above.

  • Anonymous

    “98% of Catholics use birth control the other 2% are nuns” – Colbert

    LMAO!!

  • Anonymous

    Never has any non-oppressed majority ever been better at ginning up fake victimhood than America’s Christians. 

  • Anonymous

     Because this isn’t a political site, it’s a media site and Colbert is part of the media.

  • Anonymous

    Your post is below mine from my vantage point.

  • Anonymous

    Did you even read the article or watch the video? Let me guess, you copy/paste that on every article related to The Daily Show or The Colbert Report.

  • Anonymous

    Colbert is the last true conservative in America. Stop trying to silence him.

  • Anonymous

    First of all, this is a political site. I’d venture to say that 95% of the material posted here is political. But even assuming you are right, The Soup is part of the media. Where are the reports on Joel McHale busting up the Jersey Shore crowd? Or what about SportsCenter? They don’t ever cover anything from ESPN – a media outlet! Your assumption is simply false.

  • Anonymous

    Props to Colbert for informing the public on what conservatives really mean.

  • mhandrh

    Colbert = brilliant satirist/ unmatched wit in the media today.

  • Anonymous

    Once he saw “The Colbert Report” in the title he quickly went trolling in the comments and skipped reading the article.

  • mhandrh

    Colbert didn’t “lambaste Obama” — he lambasted the church.

  • Anonymous

     It isn’t an assumption.  See Mediaite’s masthead page: http://www.mediaite.com/about/

    Specifically: “Mediaite is the site for news, information and
    smart opinions about print, online and broadcast media, offering
    original and immediate assessments of the latest news as it breaks.”

  • Anonymous

    That’s a bullsh*t.  Christians are constantly being vilified.  They are the only unprotected religious class in the nation.  Islam and Judaism are held in sacred regard by the left.  And, yes, I know that Muslims catch a lot of crap – from the right.  But bashing Christianity is vogue for too many in this country.  The goal should be the hold all religious groups as sacred (as well as non-religious).  This country was founded on religious freedom.  That would be freedom to religion and freedom from religion.  Too often the talking heads in the media only see it as one or the other.

  • Anonymous

    I judge the site by it’s content; not what it’s stated claim is. The proof is in the pudding. You can’t seriously deny this is a political site. Postings related to Colbert’s show are still political in nature. This is a political site. Ever heard the saying if it walks like a duck, swims like a duck, quacks like a duck, it must be a duck??

  • Anonymous

    These communion wafers are a bit chewy…. Wait a minute. DAMN YOU OBAMAAAA!

  • Anonymous

    Over 80% of Americans identify themselves as Christians so if any Christian is being vilified it’s probably coming from another Christian.

  • Anonymous

     Frankly, I think the reason why so much on this site is geared to the political is due entirely to the fact that our news media is obsessed with our politics.

  • Anonymous

    That could be true. But if a black person commits an act against another black based solely on that person being black does it not mean he was being attacked for the color of his skin?

  • Anonymous

    A lot of evangelical Christians and the Catholic church view anything other than caving to their demands and allowing them to inflict their beliefs on others as oppression. When we see an end to Christian groups lobbying to change laws to benefit them, the push to have creationism taught as science, failed abstinence programs pushed by church groups and en end to the church’s view’s on contraception being seen as taking priority over those of others, then they can claim victimhood.

    Also that’s your user name? Seriously?

  • Anonymous

    That only explains why this is a political site. It supports my original claim.

  • http://gregingleright.weebly.com/ Greg

    If you could choose one story from the wide world of American media to replace this one… What would it be?

  • Anonymous

    “But if a black person commits an act against another black based solely on that person being black does it not mean he was being attacked for the color of his skin”

    LMAOO!!!!! WHATTT?

    As a black person…. I must say….. you lost the argument.. not because of your color or chinky eyes though.

  • Anonymous

    This contraception issue isn’t about forcing their beliefs on anyone. It’s about the gov forcing non-Catholic’s beliefs on Catholics. People have a choice where to work. If you don’t like the insurance plan, find something else. I don’t see why that is sucha difficult concept for ppl to understand. I mean, I’m not even Catholic. And I really don’t even like the Catholic church. I hate having to defend them. But there is a bigger issue here than my own personal disdain for the Catholic church.

  • Anonymous

    Why replace. Just omit.

  • Anonymous

    As a white person, I just have to say that you don’t understand my analogy. My point is that you can persecute a group you belong to. Sorry to use an example w race. You must be overly sensitive. Perhaps I should have used Benedict Arnold as an example.

  • Anonymous

    I just notice that whenever they post an article about Jon Stewert & Stephen Colbert, the conservatives on this board immediately start crying about how Stewert & Colbert are liberals trying to indoctrinate the youth but they never address what is being said.

  • http://gregingleright.weebly.com/ Greg

    Because a business needs to provide product to stay in operation. As a consumer, you are complaining about the product available at Mediaite. You should therefore be able to suggest a product that would improve the business… Unless your only aim is to clear the shelves.

  • Anonymous

    …My best friend’s mother-in-law makes $63/hr on the computer. She has been laid off for 8 months but last month her paycheck was $4607 just working on the computer for a few hours. Read more on this web site…._C_a_s_h_M_a_n_y_._c_o_m_………..http://alturl.com/v243i

  • Anonymous

    “Soylent green is people!”

  • Anonymous

    Sorry, that’s a ridiculous argument in this economy and in general. People performing office work and such for catholic organisations can’t easily just hop into another job with the same benefits with ease because they disagree with catholic dogma.

    Your employer shouldn’t have the right to push their beliefs onto you, that isn’t how freedom of religion works. No-one is forcing catholic groups to provide contraception to anyone who doesn’t want it, they won’t be forcing priests to hand out condoms so the affront to religious liberty is utter nonsense.

  • Anonymous

    Liberty is never contingent on the current state of the economy. You argue emotions when you should be arguing principles. Why should the church be forced to act against its principles. I admit that their principles on contraception are stupid. But that’s irrelevant. In any economy you are free to choose where you work. Don’t work for a Catholic entity if you don’t want to be subject to their beliefs. Plain and simple. And I you have no other option, well sorry. That’s just how it goes. Have economy means tough decisions and sacrifice sometimes. Some people are forced into work beneath their skill set and/or are underpaid. Life’s not always fair. But if you cherish your liberty, you must respect the liberty of others.

  • Anonymous

    No, he bashed Obama for his war on religion that is oppressive to the Catholic hierarchy.

  • Anonymous

    If it makes you feel better, I bash Christianity as well as Islam & Judaism. Happy?

  • Anonymous

    No one is imposing anything on the Catholics. If the Catholic Church doesn’t want to provide BC then the private insurance companies will. Problem is that conservatives have a problem with that as well.

  • Anonymous

    LOL seriously?

  • Anonymous

    There is no evidence at all to support such a preposterous. Conservatives aren’t against birth control. Some conservatives may be b/c of the religious beliefs. But it is absurd to propagate the idea that conservatives are somehow anti-birth control. This is a red herring and a weak attempt to attack pro-life conservatives. Sorry, bud.

  • Anonymous

    Like the analogy or not, the point is true.

  • Anonymous

    So Catholic organisations should have the right to effectively discriminate against non Catholics and those who don’t follow every word on every issue that comes from the Vatican saying that ‘If you don’t like our religious rules, don’t work here’ even if the job has nothing at all to do with faith and is just something like cleaning or office work?

    I’m sorry, but no other employer would be allowed to get away with that sort of behaviour so I don’t see why the catholic church should.

  • Anonymous

    How are you not anti birth control? You’re even crying about private insurance companies picking up the cost for birth control so that these religious organizations don’t have to.

  • Anonymous

    Problem is that it isn’t a realistic scenario & it doesn’t apply at all to this situation.

  • Anonymous

    “Stephen Colbert Outraged Over School Official Forcing Child to Eat ‘School-McNuggets’ Instead of ‘unhealthy’ Turkey and Cheese Sandwich brought from Home.”

    Oh…maybe he’ll get around to that.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001154023994 Daniel Thompson

    These ridiculous smears over ‘forcing religious institutions to hand out abortion pills’, which aren’t even true since the new rules only cover methods of contraception that prevent instead of terminate a pregnancy (so NOT even abortion at all), is simply this year’s ground zero mosque. Its a nonsense issue designed to rile up far-right-wing voters and maximise Republican turnout at November’s elections. Thank you Rupert Murdoch for delivering us b*llshit of such magnitude.

  • Anonymous

    I’d think he’d be more outraged at Eric Holder being in contempt of Congress.

  • Anonymous

    Dont misinterpret crying for laughing….It actually humorous to see how much credibility liberal place on two “comedians”

  • http://twitter.com/JCP1975 JCP1975

    Or, you can just go to another website instead of complaining about this one.

  • http://twitter.com/JCP1975 JCP1975

    “That’s a bullsh*t.  Christians are constantly being vilified. ”  

    I think she’s right.  It’s about time we elect a Christian as our president.

  • Anonymous

    VIVA LA REVOLUTION! 

    CAN I GET A BERET TO GO WITH MY GOATEE?

    Chicks dig that right?

  • Anonymous

    Your vantage point is somewhere in your lower digestive track.

  • Anonymous

    Ha. That’s what I was Saying about ppl working for Catholic groups. Just go get a job somewhere else.

    Anyway, I was really being critical so much as raising a point about how meaningless Colbert is to the national dialogue. Well, I guess that is critical. But I still love mediaite. So I’ll stay put.

  • Anonymous

    98% of revolutionaries are usefull idiots, the other 2% are despots….LMAO!!!

  • Anonymous

    Have you seen Che’s comments on black people?……you’d LUV THEM!!!!

  • Anonymous

    mhandrh=provider of irrelevant opinion on people whom he is aligned with ideologically.

  • http://gregingleright.weebly.com/ Greg

    I pray so.  Lord knows the “Nugget Scandal” is a clear and present danger to the very footings of the foundation at the base of the tower of America holding high the values we place so central to the future of our children and God.  

  • Anonymous

    No, I just prefer to see the newest posts first. I don’t like dwelling on the past.

  • Anonymous

    Now you know how liberals feel when they watch the Republican primaries or Fox News.

  • Anonymous

    He’s not. Holder was just exercising the Mexican drug cartels 2nd amendment rights. This was more important, an attack on our religious freedoms! Maybe this will inspire Jesus to come back & run for POTUS (hopefully as a Republican). Just don’t ask to see his birth certificate.

  • Anonymous

    It’s too funny watching liberals in Stewart and Maher threads.

    Hey SatanicHamster – Why would you even be watching a Republican primary? There’s far better things to watch. I, as a conservative, don’t even watch them. Turn the channel. Problem solved.

    It girds Stewart’s loins that Beck’s rally was bigger and more clean than his.

  • Anonymous

     Hahahaha Colbert as a conservative. HAHAHAHAHA

  • Anonymous

    You might have a point.  I have two friends who lean far-right that thought Stephen Colbert was actually conservative. 

  • Anonymous

    “Anyway, I was really being critical so much as raising a point about how meaningless Colbert is to the national dialogue.”

    He was placing third in the South Carolina primaries at one point despite not running. 

  • Anonymous

    Amen brother!

    Religious & republican hypocritical men  have NO business dictating to women on birth control & health issues…

  • Anonymous

    Naive and stupid best describes those who really think this constitutes an attack on religious liberty.

    I don’t think you even watched this video. I think you heard Beck or Limbaugh say something bad about it, and now are just repeating the RNC line like a trained seal.

  • Anonymous

    I have two friends on the far left who think Colbert and Stewart are legitimate news broadcasts…..weird..huh?

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_WH3ZLMM7CUKUHUIMK4TKXW6SQE John

    The Daily Show and Colbert like to exaggerate and distort the argument and make a joke out of it so that the dumb liberal kids watching can’t see through the intellectual dishonesty.  I really hope there are not too many people out there who actually believe everything these guys say.

  • Centrist79

    I thought he would be more outraged at Haley Barbour pardoning murders from Mississippi, but I could be wrong.

  • Anonymous

    It would be in Santorum’s best interest to stop talking about his religious radical views.  The ads write themselves.

  • Anonymous

    Is there anything else to say about these guys?  Stewart and Colbert are just plain funny.  Really funny.

  • Anonymous

    President Obama is innocent!  If a liberal Democrat like President Obama mandated free condoms, he would mandate free hookers so that we could all put them to good use!

  • Anonymous

    They did in the 1960′s!  Today, they also want you to have some money.

  • Anonymous

    What about the priests?  Are they part of the 98% or the 2%?

  • Anonymous

    I find it hard to believe that you have two friends…

  • mhandrh

    You just don’t get it.

  • Anonymous

    Who’s “they”?

  • Anonymous

    I’m not sure how anyone could say no to that.

  • Anonymous

    Actually, crying isn’t the right word. Whining is a more accurate description of how you react.

  • Anonymous

    Jon Stewert is a punk liberal. Stephen Colbert is a true American hero.

  • Anonymous

    More amazing: I know people who actually think that Fox News puts out a legitimate news broadcast. Bizarre, huh?

  • Anonymous

    I disagree, religion is Romney’s biggest weakness besides flip flopping.

  • Anonymous

    Colbert’s leanings ae hard line right. Unlike other TV personalities, he is true to his conservative principles & is unafraid to let everyone know it.

  • Anonymous

    Lots of that fake victimhood goin’ ’round, no ?

  • Anonymous

    Yet, I’ll bet you dont find it hard to believe that Obama’s budget proposal puts federal spending in check..right? 

    Why?, because your puppet masters have told it does….

  • Anonymous

    An even more amzaing still, I know people who actually think that its the GOP’s fault that a budget hasn’t been passed in three years, and you need 61 votes in the senate to do it….one of these people is the WH chief of staff….

    Bizarre, huh?

  • shonangreg

    And throughout this whole exchange you did not once address Colbert’s assertion that Catholic run hospitals get the majority of their funding from taxes. You apparently didn’t even watch the video, yet you posture as if you’re saying something reasonable and relevant.

    You’re just being pathetic and giving conservatsim a bad name in your lack of due diligence and thoughtlessness, neither one of which are conservative values.

  • http://www.facebook.com/bruce.kennedy3 Bruce Kennedy

    No way could Jesus run for POTUS on a Republican ticket. He can’t produce his birth certificate. And we know his father, The Donald, wouldn’t stand for that.

  • Anonymous

    Amazingly now that Obama is using SuperPAC money Colbert is no longer interested in protesting it.  He just had to wait for Obama’s next talking point.

  • Anonymous

    Likewise myself,SH!!!SH!!! don’t give up the gag!!!

  • Anonymous

    WAIT!!! I could possibly help you out here,just as soon as you stop ramming that cross down my throat,up my snatch,or in my arse!!!!

  • Anonymous

    Cons sure seem to have LOTS of problems.Maybe they grew up as problem children.I’ve known more than one youngster from a strict conservative family who went batshit crazy as soon as they had to function independently in college.

  • Anonymous

    Where does the line form for the free hookers?Do I have to go to Ticketmaster or something.SOMEBODY LET ME KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Anonymous

    Bush’s quote on how a camel has a better chance of passing thru the eye of a needl thn rich man entering the kingdom of heaven would get Jesus into big trouble with Rush.

  • Anonymous

    This is true, conservative children do have a hard time socializing & often rebel against their parents first chance they get.

  • Anonymous

    Good job on getting that whole “thinking” thing down..as irrelevant as your thoguhts may be.

    Forcing churches to provide through insurance birth control is about as constitutional as the federal govornment forcing liberals to get a job….

  • Anonymous
  • http://gregingleright.weebly.com/ Greg

    Great article. Much needed. Not what you come to Mediaite for though. I prefer Asia Times for my FP fix.

  • Anonymous

    Truth of the matter is, this scroungy president is using power he has gained by circumventing the Constitution, and illegally forcing a religious entity to act against it’s own dictates. The initial issue in this matter is, just where and how does a president get this kind of power, a power he should not have.

  • Anonymous

    What did the president do to “force” a religious entity to act against its own dictate? You are aware that Catholic institutions won’t have to provide for the birth control to its own employees don’t you?

  • Anonymous

    Colbert never protested anyone using SuperPAC money. Colbert supports SuperPACs. He even has one of his own.

  • Anonymous

    You have to enroll in the Democratic Party in the state you live in!  Then you make a substantial contribution to the President’s re-election campaign and go to the nearest headquarters of ACORN.  All the free condoms and free hookers will be there for you to select from!

  • Anonymous

    The “chicks.”

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_WVHFMJUHQAC6K5YJRT5N5TBSLU Tom

    Count me in.  Hopefully they have some BBWs.

    I likes ‘em big.

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