WATCH: Stephen Colbert, Elizabeth Warren Eat Apps, Drink Beers, and Mock Billionaires in South Carolina Bar
The Late Show’s Stephen Colbert hosted Sen. Elizabeth Warren at a bar in his home state of South Carolina where the pair discussed the 2020 Democratic presidential primary while they sampled local food, drank beers, and mocked billionaires.
“Are you prepared for South Carolina food? It’s very rich. You’re going tow want to tax it,” Colbert snarked at the start of the bit.
“You’ve said— correct me if I’m wrong— you’ve said you’re a fan of fast food,” he also pointed out.
“Uh-huh.”
“Are there any ways in which are you not like Donald Trump?”
“Uh, yeesss,” Warren patiently replied. “I read books, I care about people.”
“Now, being President of the United States, as far as I can tell, is like being the person ordering for everybody at a restaurant,” Colbert added. “If you’re the appetizer orderer-in-chief. What are you getting for America? Potato skins, jalapeno poppers?”
“Oh, I like the potato skins with cheese and bacon and sour cream to dip in,” Warren enthused.
“Is this why you want universal health care, because that will kill everybody in their tracks?”
“You’ll need universal health care after those potato skins,” Warren admitted.
Later, Colbert explained the Southern tradition of using the killing-with-kindness phrase, “Bless your heart,” when someone says something unintelligent or inappropriate. Then, after a game of “How well do you know your billionaires?” Colbert plied the Massachusetts senator with numerous appetizers, including South Carolina specialties like oysters and boiled peanuts.
“Now, let’s imagine that I’m a billionaire, and these ribs are my money,” Colbert said, turning their feast into a political analogy. “Okay, I want all of my money…It’s my money. They’re my ribs.”
“Yes.”
“How many of my ribs would you take away?” he added.
“It’s like a little corner right off the edge there,” Warren explained, peeling off a tiny bit of the rib meat with a fork and holding it up.
“That’s the best part. Now I want that part,” Colbert responded. He then impetuously snatched the fork out of Warren’s hand and quickly stuffed the bite in his mouth
“Come on!” Warren yelled out, chastising the late night host’s appetizer greed. “That’s universal child care, you jerk!” she exclaimed, grabbing back the fork and jabbing him in the chest with it.
The pair then repaired to the bar, at which Warren high-fived another customer who wanted to get Trump out of the White House. Colbert, however, couldn’t resist poking fun at the less-than-robust nature of Warren’s beer of choice — Michelob Ultra — which she acknowledged was the “club soda of beers.” He then recounted an off-color joke about the beer that ends with the punchline: “They’re both fucking close to water.”
Warren, deadpanning after a beat: “Bless your heart.”
“Nicely done, nicely done,” conceded a laughing Colbert, tapping bottles with her.
Watch the video above, via CBS.
