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Eric Ripert and Anthony Bourdain Reveal Their Porn Star Names

Tomorrow, when the first episode of On The Table premieres on Youtube, Eric Ripert and Anthony Bourdain will spend a fair amount of time being profane and straightforward and laying everything…on the table. (We see what you did there, guys.) But in the meantime, they bantered (and got a bit buzzed) with Grub Street’s Alyssa Shelasky, who learned more about their guy love: the women they’d date if they weren’t married (sadly, Tony’s women were all fictional 1960’s movie characters), the movies they’d watch while crying (for Tony: Toy Story 3; for Eric: The Wall), and the names they would take if they became porn stars.

Ever play that game where you devise your hypothetical porn star names?

Bourdain: Street you grew up on and first pet? Eric, what was your first pet and street?

Ripert: Sammy … and I was in the mountains, there was no street really … umm … Rue … Mouffetard!

Bourdain: Oooh, that’s good. [In film announcer voice.] “Sammy Mouffetard is back, and this time it’s for real.” Me, I’m Poochie Orchard.

We’re a family publication, and we will tastefully refrain from thinking up any ridiculously named pornos for Sammy Mouffetard and Poochie Orchard. (We will say that those are really great fake names for the Witness Protection Program, so long as Poochie Orchard is an old Jewish woman in Boca Raton.)

[Grub Street NY]

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