America Has a Problem, and You Can Help Solve it by Eating More Cheese

This morning, Bloomberg announced that “America is sitting on a mountain of cheese.” This sounds like the answer to all of everyone’s problems, but in fact it’s not. The surplus, which is the largest we’ve had in 30 years means that unfortunately our export business is down.

We can blame Europe for all of this. The Euro is weak, and the Union’s own surplus of dairy products has caused prices to plummet, and even though they lost their largest customer, Russia, who banned trade with them, they now have major buyers in Asia and the Middle East. The United States is now, somewhat inexplicably a customer as well which is only making our surplus larger.

It is now your civic duty to help your country by eating lots and lots of cheese. American Cheese, Swiss Cheese, all kinds of cheese. On a burger, with pasta, by itself in bed after a long day. Just make sure it’s not this tie-dye grilled cheese sandwich.

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