Everything I Know About Journalism I Learned from a Summer of Cable News

Fall term is in full swing and J-students are tweeting toward degrees.. But in the golden age of ratings-wars and infotainment, who needs J-school to learn journalism? A summer of cable coverage taught us all we need to know:
 
1. Reporting 101: The Art of the Obituary
Profiling the deceased is a standard j-school exercise and a tedious task typically assigned to bottom-rung reporters – But as we learned this summer, when the departed is famous, the obit is only the onset to the endless story possibilities! You can breathe new life into any death-story for days, even months on-end, by following the MSM’s Michael Jackson death-coverage model: report until there’s nothing left to report…and then continue reporting. The King of Pop was dead seventy looooong newsdays before his burial last week. And in those seventy days we learned that even after burning through all of the tabloid fodder, there is always memorial traffic to survey and unpurchased property to tour and creepy conincidences to uncover – anything to advance the story! And when that gets old? Time to go meta and cover the criticism of the coverage. And when all else fails, you can always slap on a “BREAKING NEWS” alert-banner to remind viewers that while the dead is still dead, news of the dead is very much alive…and breaking. A lesson in comprehensive coverage indeed. 


2. Foundations in Journalism Ethics
Each semester universities pay notable media-types big bucks to speak to students about journalistic integrity. But even non-j-schoolers lucked out this summer, because ethics-expert Sarah Palin graciously guest-lectured us all for free! Herself a journalism B.S.-recipient (and certifiable B.S.-artist), Palin used her farewell address to provide the press a parting lesson in principled coverage, issuing her final executive order: “Quit making things up!”…And there you have it, the first rule of reporting- don’t make things up…Because making things up is unethical…and unwise…And as we learned from this summer’s coverage/ogling of the Sarah Palin, making things up is also unnecessary.  After all, even when the facts are foggy there are credible experts to provide analysis. Sure, the 19-year-old-drop-out/ex-future-son-in-law might have more ulterior motive than political prowess, but he’s got the scoop and he’s speaking out—key credentials of a cable news expert.


3. Advanced Technique: Finding the Angle
From time to time every journalist gets stuck covering a seemingly mundane event. But when you’re dealt an assignment with no obvious narrative, it’s important to remember that there are no uninteresting stories, only uninteresting write-ups– the trick is to find the right hook. This summer, for instance, we learned that one soundbite can transform a boring wonkish policy presser about the economics of “red pills” and “blue pills” into a racial controversy and a subsequent beer summit!
Another prime example of creative coverage was of Secretary Clinton’s 11-day, 7-nation visit to Africa…you know, her longest foreign trip as SoS to date and the earliest of any administration…the one where she pledged aid to victims of wartime rape, threatened sanctions on terrorist-harboring governments and addressed issues from economic vitality to free elections. Seems like a non-story, right? Of course. BUT clever producers successfully cut through the dregs of historic significance and bypassed the distracting diplomatic overtures to uncover the crux of the story: Hillary is a snippy biatch! The takeaway: leave the cameras rolling and you’re sure to find a controversial snippet to eclipse the otherwise insignificant bore-tour.
  


This is an opinion piece. The views expressed in this article are those of just the author.